The first time I met my stepdaughter, we went to play at a local trampoline park.
after a wild game of trampoline dodgeball, some jumping in the foam pit, and a fun rendition of “school” where krista was the teacher, i was the teacher’s pet (naturally) and kevin was the troublemaker, krista I needed some water and a bathroom break.
You are reading: Books on being a stepmom
I went with her to freshen up, but before I could get out of the ladies’ room, a small voice called out, “can you help me clean up?”.
And that was the first time I questioned the role of the stepmother.
that lost feeling
At first, I felt completely lost.
I didn’t know what to do, how to do it, or even how to gauge if I was on the right track. I’m well educated, but in those first few months (years?), being a stepmom made me feel like an idiot.
how do you date someone who has children?
Like much of adulthood, stepparenting doesn’t come with a user manual: section 1.0 marriage, section 2.0 building relationships with stepchildren, section 3.0 the ex, etc. but with the With the help of some amazing resources, you’ll feel less of an idiot and instead be better equipped to handle any mixed family situation you come across.
the best stepmom books to help you navigate parenthood/stepmom
The Single Girl’s Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming a Stepmom with Humor and Grace
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This book is so stinkin’ funny but still totally relatable and full of great advice. Highly recommend.
I hear you: the surprisingly simple skill behind extraordinary relationships
This is my favorite book on communication! Feeling heard and understood is a fundamental human need, and this book gives you the framework to do it for your partner with ease.
also, sorensen gets bonus points for being a super quick read. I opted for the audiobook version and it lasted less than 3 hours.
nobody’s the bitch: a ten step plan for the mother-stepmother relationship
Written by a mom and stepmom duo, you’ll love the perspective this book provides! Definitely one of my absolute favorites.
f*ck no!: how to stop saying yes when you can’t, shouldn’t or just don’t want to
It’s imperative that stepmoms set strict boundaries and say “no” when necessary! knight is blunt and a little cheeky in this easy read that will let you stop saying “yes” when you really want or need to say “no.”
stepmonster: a new look at why real stepmoms think, feel and act like us
Stepmonster is another ridiculously good and insightful read. The research that Dr. Martin shares is eye-opening and validating.
stop overthinking: 23 techniques to relieve stress, stop negative spirals, clear your mind and focus on the present
Very rarely do I come across a stepmom who hasn’t thought at least a little too much at some point in her stepmom journey. I love the tangible tools and data Trenton offers in this book. It will help you get over your anxiety and get out of your head so you can enjoy your life as a stepmom!
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Nation’s Leading Relationship Expert
if you haven’t heard of dr. john gottman still, you’re welcome! Gottman, the leading expert on the science of marriage, gives you seven important points to focus on to ensure your relationship is successful.
say goodbye to madness: how to get rid of your crazy ex and bring sanity back to your life
Dealing with a crazy ex? This one’s for you!
staggered coupling: creating and maintaining a strong marriage in today’s blended family
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If you’re looking for some help building up your marriage in your blended family, I highly recommend this read written specifically for couples in blended families.
the five love languages: the secret of love that lasts
A staple of marriage, the 5 Love Languages will change your relationship for sure! learning how your partner feels loved and being able to communicate what you need to feel loved is critical to a happy and fulfilling relationship.
skirts at war: beyond the divorced mother/stepmother conflict
This is another really incredible read about the mom/stepmom relationship and unique dynamics.
I’m sure I’ll never feel 100% secure in my job as a stepmom, but I’m equally sure I’ll never feel 100% secure in my job as a parent of my having children either.
we are all doing our best and every day brings new fights, challenges and adventures. continue to take it easy each day and focus on what you can control.
If you’re unsure of your role as a stepmom, looking for guidance, or just need reassurance that you’re not alone, I highly recommend each of these books.
I no longer have to choose between helping my new boyfriend’s daughter clean up in the bathroom or not, but I definitely still regularly assess and adjust my role and position to avoid overstepping any of my husband’s responsibilities or theirs. limits of ex.
With a little guidance and a lot of community, we’re going to come out stronger on the other side.
p.d. looking for free resources instead? I’ve got you covered!
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