Sarcastic funny quotes and sayings can make you feel better if people are being mean to you. Let’s take a look at this humorous post. We are sure you’ll not just take pleasure in the funny sarcastic quotes but actually, love them. Check out
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1. “Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn’t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.”
2. “When I’m quiet, those that don’t know me to look at me and think I’m shy. People who know me think: OMG! She’s thinking! Everyone run for your life!”
3. “Staying positive does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather, it is knowing that you will be okay no matter how things turn out.”
4. “Yesterday – fixed hair and makeup. Say no one. Today – looked like jack Nicholson from the shining. Saw all the people I know. All of them.”
5. “I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” To “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”
6. “Spend your life doing strange things with weird people”
7. “Shhh. No one cares.”
8. “As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath. Appreciate what you have.”
9. “Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow remains to be seen.”
10. “It called karma and it’s pronounced ‘haha fuck you’”
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11. “Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”
12. “And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids.”
13. “My son asked why I speak so softly in the house. I said I was afraid the NSA was listening. He laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed.”
14. “My daughter is either my best friend or Satan. There is no in-between.”
15. “We all know someone who speaks fluent shit.”
16. “New monthly budget gas $0 entertainment $0 clothes $0 groceries $1624”
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17. “I hope I never go to jail because I haven’t memorized a phone number since 2001.”
18. “If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.”
19. “My smart mouth always gets me in trouble. And if it’s not my mouth. It’s my facial expressions.”
20. “Today, I will be as useless as the “G” in lasagna.”
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21. “What doesn’t kill you. Disappoints me.”
22. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.”
23. “Dear autocorrect, I’m getting a bit tired of your shirt.”
24. “You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!”
25. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
26. “I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.”
27. “Stranger: Nice to meet you Me: Give it time.”
28. “Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life anymore… things just happen & I’m like “Oh, is this what we’re doing now? Ok.”
29. “Don’t just assume that when I’m angry, I’m on my period. Otherwise, when you’re sleeping I’ll just “Assume” you’re dead and bury you in my backyard.”
30. “After getting her blanket, pillow, drink, snack, and TV show on, I’m pretty sure my toddler just looked at me & mouthed the words “I own you”
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31. “I like long walks away from everyone.”
32. “I’m seriously the nicest and meanest person you will ever meet. Now fuck off and have a great day.”
33. “When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say “Why me,” say “Try me”
34. “Well apparently rock bottom has a basement.”
35. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
36. “I have to stop saying “How stupid can you be?”. Some people are starting to take it as a challenge.”
37. “Saying “Have a nice day” to someone sounds friendly but saying “Enjoy your next 24 hours” sounds threatening.”
38. “Nothing saves money like being antisocial.”
39. “I may look calm but in my mind, I’ve killed you three times.”
40. “I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12 while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.”
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41. “Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary.”
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42. “There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.”
43. “My kids laugh because they think I’m crazy. I laugh because they don’t know it’s hereditary.”
44. “Apparently one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is having no taste. Looking back on all my exes – I think I’ve been infected for years.”
45. “Seriously? You were the sperm that won?”
46. “If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they’re the cops.”
47. “Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.”
48. “Me: Not today Satan Satan: Oh thank god because even I can’t deal with your life right now”
49. “Once upon a time I was sweet and innocent. And then shit happened.”
50. “Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.”
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51. “Apparently, referring to latex gloves as corona condoms at work is frowned upon.”
52. “Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep, or staying awake to finally get some alone time.”
53. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”
54. “I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.”
55. “*Adding “Showed up for work during the apocalypse” to my resume*”
56. “If I give you a straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s day?”
57. “Sarcasm: Because murder charges are expensive”
58. “Sure, sometimes I question my parenting. But to be honest, sometimes I question my child’s chilling.”
59. “A letter to … my teenage girl, who hates me so very much”
60. “Shutting the fuck up is gluten free, add that to your diet.”
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61. “I’m a sarcastic ray of f*cking sunshine”
62. “We all have a friend that only gets called by their nickname, and it sounds weird to even say their real name”
63. “We wanted to be adults so bad. Now, look at us!”
64. “Damn it a mirror, I don’t look like that in my head.”
65. “The deepest of a woman’s insecurities often come from the men who have hurt them.”
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These hilarious, inspirational, sarcastic quotes will make your day because sometimes sarcasm is the way to go! sarcastic humor.