fantasy island knows it’s a prime time soap opera and that’s what makes it work. is ridiculous, over the top, and often problematic because people arrive on the island with the baggage of a lifetime, hoping to satisfy their deepest desires and fulfill their secret dreams in 45 minutes, while sharing each episode with another character. guest trying to do the same. But it’s also fun and entertaining, and even if the only good thing that happens in the episode is Roselyn Sanchez showing up out of nowhere in various white outfits against the backdrop of an idyllic island, well, it’s a nice break from reality. there’s also a queer main character, ruby, which i already wrote about, and last week’s penultimate episode was also very gay.
in “romance and bromance”, our protagonist, isabel, arrives on the island with a backpack the size of rory gilmore full of books that talk about how she doesn’t want to live in the real world because she prefers jane’s world austen and fictional author r.s. cold water. she wants to learn to say “yes!” to the life. she delivers the r.s. coldwater series to ruby, who looks at the woman in full body armor on the cover and immediately realizes that isabel, like her, is a raging homosexual. Elena decides to send Isabel to the world of R.S. cabbage water as in the royal past. Which is kind of weird because Fantasy Island is all about fantasies, so it feels like the guests are getting in touch with the imaginary people stuck in their minds. otherwise, bellamy young totally cannibalized her stepdad in the pilot!
You are reading: Rs coldwater books agnes
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anyway, isabel arrives at r.s. the small mansion of coldwater castle and immediately falls in love with his wife, rachel, who wears pants and a vest and has ink on her fingers. Isabel immediately realizes that she is actually the author of the Agnes books! but her husband is posting them because only men can post things in this era unless they are jo march! isabel and rachel take turns in the garden, lying on the grass together, having a very erotic little talk about agnes’s books using a rose as a prop, eating together, drinking their sherry, dancing and stroking each other’s face and hair. And that’s when Rachel’s husband’s publisher shows up demanding to know if he’s really writing these books, or if the rumors are true and his filthy wife is the real genius behind the bestsellers.
however, hope is not lost, because isabel is from the future! where she had access to wikipedia! So she exposes all the secrets of this dirty publisher and he agrees to keep publishing the books and also clean up her act (at least financially)! isabel and rachel lie in bed to celebrate owning another stupid man, but when isabel wakes up it is elena who is there, reminding her that she is actually on a weekend getaway in 2021 and not in the 19th century courting a famous fantasy author. but hey, she learned to say yes, right? That’s why she came on this vacation!
isabel is heartbroken when she returns to the real world, leaving rachel behind. she wants to bring her back home, to her present, but ruby pounces with her blanche deveraux accent, explaining that if rachel comes home to isabel, she won’t write agnes’s books in the 19th century, and so on all the women who were made homosexual by them will remain heterosexual, etc. Isabel accepts that it is her responsibility to preserve generations of fictional lesbian angst and says goodbye to R.S. cold water.
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but then! In the last minute! Since she is also a hopeless romantic, Elena lets Isabel go back in time to relive her days with her favorite author. (I think it’s better not to ask complicated questions about the ethics of time travel and just enjoy the fanfic).
“romance and bromance” isn’t an artistic masterpiece, but it’s very upbeat, charming, and light-hearted, and that’s exactly what I’m looking for in my stories right now.
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