February is the month of valentines, when love is in the air. A cold winter month, perfect for cozying up with a good book. It’s also Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (#TDVAM). With all of these in mind, it seemed like the perfect time to lớn talk about how domestic violence is presented & romanticized in literature.
You are reading: The romanticizing of domestic violence in literature
Intimate partner violence & many forms of abuse are often represented in literature. It is easy for the reader khổng lồ identify toxic behavior when the abuser is the villain of the story, or at least the rival to the romantic nhân vật. But what about when the abuser is the lãng mạn hero? Abusive sầu & controlling behavior is often portrayed as an expression of love và, therefore, desirable. It is “romanticized” inlớn something positive that the reader should root for and idealize in their own relationships. In addition, the victyên ổn is often shown as loving or forgiving for sticking with or taking baông chồng an abusive sầu partner.
This romanticizing of abuse can come from three sources. The author may use language designed to make the reader feel that controlling or violent behavior is a heartwarming illustration of love sầu. In a 2019 issue of the Seattle University Undergraduate Retìm kiếm Journal, Emily Boynton points khổng lồ specific examples in Stephanie Meyer’s supremely popular Twilight series: “…the emphasis on Bella’s injuries highlights their visual appeal và minimizes their harm through artistic language: in addition lớn
‘blossoming’… ‘the rest of was decorated with patches of xanh and purple’… Meyer’s word choice depicts Bella’s bruises as beautiful embellishments to her skin, aestheticizing Edward’s abuse as enhancing Bella’s body instead of injuring it.”
Alternatively, whether or not it was intended by the author, the reader may interpret the text through that lens. In Letters from the War Zone, Andrea Dworkin posits the notion of a “bad reader”: someone who “romanticizes the sadist và reads the rapist, the abuser, the violent man, as a lãng mạn hero.” Beliefs and experiences in an individual reader’s life can color how they construe fictional situations.
Thirdly, this understanding could come from critics, scholars, and truyền thông media portrayals romanticizing abuse so frequently that it is generally accepted in literary culture and taught to students. Citing another example, Boynton contends, “By distinguishing Wuthering Heights as a romance, teachers & scholars—trusted guides & models for students—ultimately (& unintentionally) take part in the larger cultural movement that glamorizes và reinforces domestic abuse.” With so many retellings, the original intent and/or reader reaction can be superseded by modern sensibilities. In her 2015 Trinity College senior thesis, Allison Stegelvà suggests the 1939 film adaptation of Wuthering Heights (from the 1847 Emily Bronte novel) is the origin of “depict Heathcliff not as an abusive sầu figure but as a scorned, misunderstood, overly passionate Romantic anh hùng.” When popular novels are turned into lớn films, it often results in both a simplification of the plot & a wider audience being exposed to lớn its romanticizing.
“My one true love”, “my soulmate”, “true love sầu conquers all”. These concepts seem epically lãng mạn và passionate, adding drama và gravitas to lớn a story. All too frequently, however, they are taken too far và veer into lớn obsession, stalking, smothering, & other controlling behaviors, even self-harm. In an American University case study, Kyrie McCauley Bannar points out, “…literature has a tendency khổng lồ romanticize behaviors such as obsessive sầu love sầu & suicide. Wuthering Heights and Romeo & Juliet, even Anmãng cầu Karenina and The Awakening, all exhibit female characters that sacrifice everything for love và either commit suicide or experience an untimely death as a direct result.”
In many works, “true love” is represented as justified reasoning for the controlling partner to exhibit their control, which only demonstrates the extent of their devotion. On the part of the victim, believing that “true love sầu conquers all” is represented as the ultimate trump card, overpowering any reservations they may have sầu or abusive sầu behavior they may recognize in their partner. Discussing recent Young Adult (YA) adaptations of Wuthering Heights in Cleveland State University’s Engaged Scholarship, Brianna R. Zgodinski notes “When the young women begin lớn question how secure they are around their partners, they ultimately decide that fidelity to lớn their ‘soulmate’ relationship is more important than safety or autonomy…”
In a blog post lamenting the romanticizing of emotional abuse in many YA works, Aine provides another example: “In Hush Hush by Becca Fitzgerald>, the
In the same vein as “the one”, even if the victim does recognize the wrongness of their partner’s behavior, they are regularly shown to be “the only one who could change him”, “curing” a “bad boy” of his abusive ways through love. It’s an actual fairy-tale trope, Beauty & the Beast being a prime example. Originating in an 18th century French fable by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve sầu, this story is best known lớn modern audiences through the animated Disney movie – a film whose target audience is children. The beast is violent, a literal quái dị with complete power over a beautiful young woman. Yet, it is her kindness and perseverance that “changes his ways” và turns him inkhổng lồ someone she is romantically interested in.
“It all comes down to the fantasy of being made to feel special,” argues Caroline Bohra in an article for the University of Virginia’s Iris Magazine. The mistreated parties are shown as the only ones who truly underst& their partners, their real motives, their troubled past. Bohra continues, “Abusers are fantastic at making their victims feel lượt thích they are the best thing in this world, the only one who can change them, the exception to lớn the rule.” Relating this concept to popular YA literature, she suggests, “…these were not love sầu stories, but stories of abusive relationships. They were stories of teenage girls who were expected lớn fix and save the ‘bad boys’ in their lives, và whenever these girls tried khổng lồ leave they were emotionally manipulated at every turn.”
In the University of Toronto’s European Journal of Cultural Studies Laura Beres expounds on this familiar storyline, “… in serial romances… và in narratives lượt thích Du Maurier’s Rebecca & Wild Orchid… just as in Beauty and the Beast, the anh hùng is initially controlling và distant, if not blatantly abusive sầu, & has been hurt in his past by a woman, or women, which has contributed to his distant & unloving manner. By being loved by the heroine, he can heal from his past experiences & become the perfect partner for her.” She warns of the implications of this comtháng plot: “ living in a violent relationship, who needs lớn maintain faith in something beyond her immediate situation, this story suggests that if she acts in a loving way towards her abusive partner, he might learn from her how lớn be loving, & might turn into lớn a prince for her.”
Sudden ardent embraces, jealous altercations with thắm thiết rivals, always being nearby lớn ensure their partner’s safety. These sound lượt thích the elements of a wonderfully romantic story. All too regularly, however, these “loving” gestures cross the line into lớn abusive sầu behaviors such as stalking, controlling a victim’s movements or decisions, unwanted physical tương tác, & violence. In a 20đôi mươi article for the Highl& High School Rambler, Olivia Hufford cites an example from Twilight: “Edward claims he because he feels ‘protective’ of her. In both instances, Bella & the author portray his actions as neither controlling or at all concerning, but romantic.” Similar acts are frequently depicted in literature as an expression of passion, an example of how much the lãng mạn hero loves their partner. They want them khổng lồ be safe, they want lớn display the strength of their love sầu. It’s shown as thrilling, sensual, caring.
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“But what happens when the characters in such texts – as well as their readers – confuse abuse for passion?” asks Mary Ryan in disClosure: A Journal of Social Theory, “Young women reading stories that portray controlling or over-protective sầu men as paradigms of romance are, I propose, being desensitized khổng lồ obsessive and abusive sầu behavior.” She also uses an example from Twilight: “Under the mask of a caring statement, emphasizes how he will not permit khổng lồ bởi anything that he decides is unsafe.” Ryan explains the abusive sầu nature of seemingly lovingly concerned statements like this adding, “…he also slips a condescending message to lớn her that she is not capable of deciding what is best for her in the matter of her safety.”
Twilight is an oft cited work in explanations of romanticized abuse because it is quite blatant to lớn many analytical readers. It is easy to piông xã out examples of clear abuse. This is not always the case, however. In fact, it is often difficult lớn tell when a character crosses the line between passion & power, protection và control. It can be unclear whether certain behavior is abusive sầu from either the point of view of the victim or of the reader, from inside or outside of the relationship. “Take for instance Noah & Allie from the novel ‘The Notebook’ by Nicholas Sparks,” notes high school senior Kyle Bergerson in a column for the Sag Harbor Express, “At first glance, the hardships in their relationship are always overcome by their passion & love for one another. Yet at the beginning of the story, Noah pursues Allie with a persistence that borders on harassment, especially given her repeated verbal denials. She agrees khổng lồ go on a date with hlặng only after he threatens suicide by falling from a Ferris wheel. Such manipulative sầu & controlling behaviors constitute psychological abuse.” The novel and the popular film adaptation portray this “psychological abuse” as exceptionally lãng mạn.
This confusion may stem from a laông xã of understanding and education about of what constitutes abusive behavior. In a post on her eponymous blog, Sarah Hollowell relates an exchange she had on social media about Twilight: “The person I talked to lớn on Twitter argued that was simply trying to lớn protect and anyway, he never hit her or yelled at her, & that’s what abuse is.” A simplified comprehension of abuse as solely physical or verbal is common. The standard term “domestic violence” even reinforces this misconception by qualifying abuse as violent harm. “Thinking that abuse consists only of physical violence và yelling is extremely dangerous,” Hollowell cautions, “Abuse can take on many forms & some of them are subtle. It could come… in khung of neglect, coercion, or maybe continued patterns of insults và put downs.”
These less recognizable forms of abuse are much easier khổng lồ ignore or romanticize. In her Iowa State University dissertation, Anne Marie Preston exemplifies this more indirect & less recognizable abuse in Jane Austen’s Emma: “Mr. Knightley takes advantage of the influence he has in Emma’s life in order khổng lồ mold her inlớn a more desirable wife for himself.” She suggests that, “Through their conversations và arguments, Mr. Knightley employs techniques lớn establish himself as the most important figure in Emma’s life.” And that, “Emma’s changing opinions throughout the novel demonstrate the intensity of Mr. Knightley’s influence in Emma’s life.” Subtle manipulation such as Preston proposes is commonly undetectable khổng lồ both the targeted character & the reader.
Especially in the YA sphere, romanticized epic pairings are often couched in fantasy, science fiction, or supernatural genres. When lãng mạn heroes are vampires or werewolves or faeries it is easy to dismiss their toxic behavior as a fictional representation of their kind, and thus perfectly acceptable. While most readers will comprehend that events and creatures in these tales are not và could not be real, it does not mean they are any farther removed from the emotions they evoke.
Examples of possessiveness, jealousy, and control are prominent in fantasy tales, according to lớn copywriter và blogger Maria John. “This is present in every book in the werewolf genre, often in Young Adult Fantasy,” she writes, “where the ‘mate’ or ‘partner’ has lớn beef up his manliness by barking to lớn everyone that ‘his’ girl is ‘mine and mine alone.’” As 18-year-old Amy Nikita explains in a blog post, “It’s supposedly okay if bad boys stalk the heroine, treat her lượt thích she belongs lớn him, & even get violent with her because he’s a bad boy – it’s what he does. It’s okay khổng lồ be possessive – he just cares a lot… It’s okay if he bites her – he’s Fae, it’s what they do.” (her italics) He’s not human, therefore the reader must accept his inhuman actions. When these actions are portrayed as desirable & loving, they veer inkhổng lồ romanticized territory.
Societal ideas (at least in most of the First World) about domestic violence have sầu changed dramatically since many “classic” works of literature were written. One may argue that these classics are products of their time, ie: a time when intimate partner violence was seen as commonplace và a private affair. This is true; as times and cultural norms change, the way we interpret literary classics changes, too. “Indeed,” posits Stegel& in her analysis of Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, “generations of critics & readers have tended, if anything, lớn romanticize these scenes of hitting và hurting, to see Rochester’s feelings for Jane as nothing more than thắm thiết desire và passion.”
Boynton argues that this romanticizing of abuse is, in fact, the modern lens we have sầu applied to lớn classic works. She attributes the intense popularity of the Twilight series, which author Stephanie Meyer has affirmed is strongly influenced by Wuthering Heights, for the change in perception of that nearly 175-year-old text. “When Wuthering Heights was first published,” Boynton writes, “readers were horrified by the relentless violence in the text; however, today’s audiences frequently view these acts as romantic displays of love sầu & passion, glamorizing abuse…Twilight & other adaptations have sầu reframed Wuthering Heights as a romance, ultimately perpetuating the dangerous notion that abuse is desirable.”
In fact, the majority of modern Wuthering Heights adaptations change a key plot point. Whereas in the original novel Cathy rejects Heathcliff as a suitor, modern versions seem lớn have concluded that today’s readers want the pair to end up together. “…in order khổng lồ make Heathcliff a ‘chooseable’ twenty-first century nhân vật,” Zgodinski reasons, “the writers of these works have sầu to lớn romanticize his violent tendencies through the perspectives of their female protagonists.” They normalize negative sầu behavior in order to lớn validate this tempestuous love, which Bronte’s Cathy distinctly did not vì. According to lớn Zgodinski, “…readers are expected to see the male protagonists’ behaviors as their most attractive qualities, instead of their most pitiable.”
Beres suggests that the romanticizing of control is a response lớn the women’s movement và women’s increased personal & sexual freedom in society. Men no longer have sầu the same legal power over women that they once did và women in general are far less “passive” in relationships & all aspects of their lives. Beres concludes that men need lớn be more aggressive in order to impress or “win” “consent to lớn control” their female partners, who are now seen as stronger & more capable than in the past.
Most of the example texts cited here are either literary classics often taught in high school or are classified as YA books, specifically written for teenagers & young adults. Either way, these are works teens are likely to lớn read. “In their desire lớn know about relationships,” Bannar reasons, “young adults accept the books as a reflection of society, & anticipate that their relationships should mirror what they have sầu read.” She suggests this phenomenon is due to lớn a lachồng of instruction on intimate partnerships: “Without education on unhealthy relationships, & without experience in relationships, youth may be internalizing unhealthy examples as what relationships are supposed to be.” Bohra advances this position, arguing that romanticizing abuse is detrimental for both parties in the relationship: “Not only is this… portrayal harmful to lớn young girls, but young boys also absorb this toxic masculinity mindphối. The narrative that girls want bad boys, và nice guys finish last is not helpful to anyone.”
This correlation between fiction and real-life expectations has an abundance of evidence. Zgodinski cites a 2013 CDC study, highlighting that not only vị “women between the ages of sixteen và twenty-four experience the highest rate of being physically, emotionally, và verbally abused by their partner,” but that “almost three quarters of the women in this age group who reported being a victyên of abuse said they would have sầu left their partners earlier but, lượt thích Isabella Twilight>, they had trouble determining if what they were experiencing constituted as actual abuse.” Blogger whyasotoxic points lớn bạn reactions online: “Each bình luận & blog post highlight the melodramatic, intense reactions to lớn the Twilight> series, proving that young adult literature’s audience for the most part is unaware of the toxicity infiltrating their favorite romances.” Bergeson relays conversations from her teen peers: “In spite of the ever-growing #MeToo movement, I hear girls in my school commonly refer lớn Catherine and Heathcliff, the tragically romantic couple from Emily Brontё’s ‘Wuthering Heights,’ as the kind of relationship they want for themselves.”
The style in which YA novels are often written may increase the likelihood that teens will identify with the characters. The majority employ first person narrators, which creates “narrative intimacy”. As Boynton explains, “The use of a first-person narrator minimizes the distinctions between the narrator & reader, for the first-person singular pronouns (I, me, mine) cause readers to emotionally, vicariously experience the affect of the plot alongside the narrator.” Bannar points khổng lồ the “Frequently Asked Questions” section of Twilight author Stephanie Meyer’s trang web where she is asked what her first person narrator, Bella, looks like. “I left out a detailed description of Bella in the book,” Meyer responds, “so that the reader could more easily step inlớn her shoes” The text is consciously designed lớn influence readers khổng lồ see themselves in a character who consistently romanticizes controlling behavior in her partner.
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So what should parents, teachers, friends, và society in general do about these potentially damaging concepts being churned out in popular literature? Avoiding the issue does not help fix it. Rather, there needs khổng lồ be more emphasis on critical reading. “It is not bad to lớn read books such as ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ or ‘After’,” emphasizes Kaylee Adams in APN Magazine, rather, “As readers, we need to realize that the relationships depicted in these books should not be considered normal and should not be idolized.” Boynton progresses this point, emphasizing the need for education: “Given the tools to investigate characters’ actions, narrative structure, và stereotypes, young readers will be able to lớn identify romanticized portrayals of abuse và resist the conflation of novels such as Wuthering Heights & Twilight.”
Perhaps a combination of critical reading & healthier story arcs will decrease the chances of readers romanticizing abuse to their own detriment. In an article for Medium, Estrella Ramirez suggests, “It’s essential lớn show the reality of how different types of abusive, toxic relationships manifest, and what the possible outcomes are when you stay in them. But allow the character, being abused, to lớn find the strength to leave those relationships and realize how deserving và worthy of respect and love sầu they are.” What it boils down to, according lớn Ramirez, is “Don’t paint a picture of a toxic relationship & sell it as romance.” The problem is not the books. The problem is how they are presented. The problem is how they are perceived. The problem is that too many readers are romanticizing them and are being encouraged to vị so.
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Categories: literature