If you’re feeling a little nervous about your upcoming marriage, don’t worry, it’s completely natural. Marriage is a big commitment, and it’s hard to know exactly what to expect. If you’re wondering what’s to come, there are premarital counseling books that can help you prepare for your marriage.
Premarital counseling doesn’t have to mean sitting down with a therapist in person. Simply learning about marriage, including reading books, can help improve your chances of having a happy and successful union.
You are reading: Books on premarital counseling
what is premarital counseling?
Premarital counseling is for couples who are engaged or preparing for marriage. During these counseling sessions, issues related to your life together will be discussed.
topics may include:
- children
- responsibilities
- finances
- sex
- communication
You can talk about struggles you’re already aware of. Also, some issues may come up that you didn’t know were a potential problem until you started discussing them. Premarital counseling sessions are used to discuss these issues in a safe environment to help prevent problems that could damage your relationship later on.
books that help you prepare for marriage
You can choose to read premarital books instead of or in addition to your counseling sessions. The following are some highly regarded books on this topic:
things i wish i knew before we got married by gary chapman
The name says it all. Written by a couples counselor, this book addresses communication in marriage, encouraging calm expression and verbal thoughtfulness. You’ll learn how to comfortably and effectively talk about issues that may affect you and/or your future spouse, including sex, housework, and more. In addition, you will realize that your relationship with your spouse is affected not only by them but also by your family and colleagues.
saving your marriage before it starts by drs. les and leslie parrot
The purpose of this book is to correct your misconceptions about marriage. Some people assume that their relationship will be easier once they commit to someone through marriage. This book will teach you that strong relationships are the result of teamwork. You’ll learn how to communicate effectively by understanding your partner, solving problems in a healthy way, and organizing finances. this book provides a good foundation for a healthy marriage.
the total transformation of money by dave ramsey
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This book addresses the management of household finances. While not geared toward engaged couples per se, finances are one of the most common marital issues. At the beginning of a marriage, it can be difficult to organize this information. however, this book will help couples pay off serious loans or auto and home debt, as well as save for emergencies and retirement. Being able to eliminate one of the common triggers for disagreements in a marriage can help you build a strong marriage from the start. As a bonus, Dave Ramsey discusses ways to handle marital conflict in the book’s sidebars.
boundaries in marriage by dr. henry cloud and dr. john townsend
In this book, you’ll learn how you and your future spouse can determine your roles in your relationship. The authors discuss setting boundaries, drawing “property lines” and emphasizing personal space to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship. You can also learn how to prevent “crossing lines” or causing serious emotional harm to your partner when you’re married. this may involve maintaining good communication, continuing intimacy, and avoiding external temptations like cheating. setting boundaries early on helps you avoid problems that may arise. it is advisable to think about these scenarios in advance.
love & respect: the love she wants most, the respect he desperately needs by dr. emerson eggerichs
This book highlights the fact that both spouses have specific needs that must be met. overall, says dr. eggerichs, the wife needs more to be loved and the husband more needs to be respected. when a need is not met, the marriage will be put at risk. dr Eggerichs wrote this book based on scientific data and three decades of experience as a counselor. he uses his knowledge and experience to discuss how he can get what he wants from his marriage.
dr. Eggerichs explains that the book’s title doesn’t mean that men don’t seek love and women don’t care about respect (so don’t get caught up in the wording). Both love and respect are important to every couple, but this book goes into great detail about the differences between women and men and what they need to feel loved.
sheet music by kevin leman
This book jumps right into a topic that many couples avoid talking about: sex. goes into detail about how your past experiences, both sexual and non-sexual, can affect your sex life and what to expect in marriage. there is a chapter aimed specifically at women and another at men. but everyone can benefit from reading the entire book cover to cover. Learning to talk openly and honestly with your spouse about sex will go a long way in creating a marriage that is sexually satisfying for both of you.
the five love languages by gary chapman
Not everyone feels loved in the same way. In this book, Gary Chapman talks about the five different “love languages” that people have:
- acts of service
- quality time
- physical touch
- gifts
- words of affirmation
If you show love to your partner in a way that doesn’t match their love language, they may not feel loved by you and vice versa. This book will help you recognize what your own language is, what your partner’s language is, and how you can best show love to them. this is a great book to read together.
other forms of premarital counseling
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It’s easy when you’re engaged to get carried away with wedding plans and forget about planning your marriage. but your marriage is more important than your big day. The more you work to learn about marriage and your partner, the better your chances of building a solid foundation on which to base your life together.
The books described above are excellent sources of information on topics to consider before getting married. Here are some other options for premarital counseling:
- Talk to the person performing your ceremony. If a religious leader is marrying you, he or she will most likely also provide premarital counseling sessions for the couples you marry.
- find a mentor couple. Talking to a couple who are happily married after decades can be a great way to get advice to help them prepare for life together. be sure to choose carefully to find a partner who has a strong marriage based on the values you share.
- Attend a prenuptial conference or event. There are many prenuptial conferences and events taking place across the country and the world. find one that comes to your area or plan a trip together to learn how to build a strong marriage.
Talk to a therapist in person or online. A therapist can teach you techniques to deal with problems you and your future spouse have now and problems that may arise after you’re married. Research has shown that couples who see a therapist online found that they were able to focus more on counseling than face-to-face counseling. according to the couples, the screen between them and the therapist disappeared, and they felt “less judged” by the therapist than they would with traditional therapy. In general, couples expressed a positive experience with online therapy and found themselves more immersed in the counseling process, sharing more than they would with an in-person therapist. online therapy can also be effective for those who have individual problems in addition to being a couple.
betterhelp offers premarital counseling online
As mentioned above, premarital counseling can improve your chances of staying happily married. If you’re interested in counseling but don’t feel comfortable meeting face-to-face with a stranger, online counseling such as betterhelp could be a great option.
You can speak with a certified professional who will provide you with the services you require. sessions can be held at any time via video chat or phone, as well as through messaging. this makes it convenient for you and your partner to be a part of counseling sessions during the busy wedding planning process. Read reviews from betterhelp counselors below.
advisor reviews
“stephanie is a gem! she is very caring, thorough, honest, insightful but most of all helpful. this is coming from a person who never wanted to do counseling and just ‘knew’ she didn’t need it. she has been key to helping me and my wife find our best place. she made us grow as a couple and individually. thank you steph!”
“my husband and I are very grateful for valorie’s help and guidance in helping us resolve some marital issues. after a few months of working weekly with her,
feel better equipped to weather our storms.”
conclusion
The work you put into planning and preparing for your marriage will pay off in the end. A long and fulfilling marriage is within your reach – all you need are the right tools. take the first step today.
frequently asked questions:
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- what should be covered in premarital counseling?
- what is discussed during premarital counseling?
- what to read before getting married?
- what questions do pastors ask in premarital counseling?
- what are the 4 questions you would ask in premarital counseling that you think are important?
- what are the Top 3 Things Couples Should Discuss? during premarital counseling and why?
- how long should premarital counseling last?
- what questions are asked during marriage counseling?
- does premarital counseling reduce divorce rates?
- what are the 3 stages of marriage?