Do you ever feel overwhelmed by social situations at work or in your personal life?
Do you ever get frustrated when other people appear to be naturally charismatic and can easily navigate social situations, while you struggle to communicate your wants and needs?
You are reading: Books that teach social skills
Being able to communicate effectively is an important skill that precedes the ability to succeed in a variety of contexts. Whether it’s getting the promotion you’ve always wanted or meeting the love of your life, being able to function socially is an important part of everyday life.
This article will provide you with the best books to help you practice social skills, understand your personality type, and help a child or teen struggling to navigate the social world.
Before we continue, we thought you might like to download our three self-compassion exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will help you increase self-compassion and kindness and give you the tools to help your customers, students, or employees show more self-compassion.
7 books to help adults develop social skills
The literature on helping adults develop social skills is so varied that we’ve provided two categories to help you better find what you’re looking for. categories include:
- social skills development guides books that focus on helping you develop the skills you need for social interactions in a variety of school and work contexts.
- personality types and their impact on social skills these books focus on identifying why we are the way we are. these books can take a more biological approach, as they look at different brain and personality types that help frame one’s social responses.
guides for the development of social skills
1. speaking conversationally: tried new ways to increase your personal and social effectiveness – alan garner
garner has published three versions of conversational speaking and is also known for its in-person workshops.
Her motivation for writing these books is to teach these skills to people who are experiencing loneliness and depression from not being able to connect with others.
After taking a conversation class in college, Garner set out to teach these skills to others who were struggling with similar issues, as her life dramatically improved after completing this course.
The book focuses on promoting effective conversational skills in all aspects of your social interactions. more specifically, the book goes into detail about the importance of asking open-ended and closed-ended questions to help people achieve clear goals when engaging in conversations.
look for the book on amazon.
2. easy talk: an everyday social skills guide for introverts on how to lose fear and talk to new people – gerard shaw
shaw (2019, p. 5) defines small talk as “light, informal conversation used when talking to someone you don’t know very well.”
Small talk can take place in both professional and social settings, so it’s an important skill to get comfortable with.
shaw provides guidance using a combination of case studies and specific conversation starters, guidance on nonverbal cues, and exit strategies to help people develop the skills needed to make small talk.
This book is extremely accessible and is aimed at people looking to develop these skills in business and personal settings.
Although this book does not provide references to specific interactions, its general approach is suitable for anyone looking to develop small talk or conversational introductory skills, as these are the building blocks for developing more intimate relationships.
look for the book on amazon.
3. PeopleSmart: Developing Your Interpersonal Intelligence – Melvin L. silver man
Have you ever wondered about the specific interpersonal skills you need to be successful?
This book provides a practical guide to eight skills that readers must develop to be successful in specific interpersonal contexts.
silberman has created a peoplesmart iq scale, which is presented in the second chapter. encourages participants to take the self-assessment before reading the book, as the scale asks questions about how competent the reader feels in practicing each of the eight skills.
The book provides several links to general social contexts, and many of the examples and strategies are highly relevant to professional settings, making it a great choice for people looking to develop their assertiveness and leadership skills.
look for the book on amazon.
4. the social skills guide: manage shyness, improve your conversations and make friends, without giving up who you are – chris macleod
Do you have trouble introducing yourself to new people and breaking the ice with friends?
This book functions as a social guide intended to improve your social skills, while maintaining a strong sense of self.
The book provides specific strategies to help people challenge self-defeating thinking, overcome awkward silences, and engage in a variety of conversational settings (group and one-on-one).
It does this by providing specific builds where people can upgrade these skills and different viable strategies depending on their personality. the workable strategies and breakdown of the book make it ideal for people looking to improve their overall ability to socialize, as opposed to a specific setting or intent.
look for the book on amazon.
personality types and their impact on social skills
1. mindsight: transform your brain with the new science of kindness – daniel siegel
This book focuses on integrating brain science with psychology to develop Siegel’s concept of “mindview.”
siegel gives readers an overview of how mindsight shapes our perspectives and mental health, connecting our biological processes with case studies of his own patients.
See Also: Best Second Grade Books for the Classroom – WeAreTeachers
siegel emphasizes that past experiences shape our future reactions and must be examined more broadly when trying to understand one’s behavior in different situations.
Although this book may not be directly related to developing social skills, people seeking to understand the nature of their reactions to specific social situations can use the Siegel approach.
Understanding how their past experiences may have shaped how they react socially will allow readers to become more aware of the “why” behind their actions.
look for the book on amazon.
2. the introvert advantage: how quiet people can thrive in an extroverted world – marti olsen laney
When examining personality characteristics, the most common classification is between introversion and extroversion.
an introverted person is classified as a person who concentrates on their ideas, emotions and impressions. they can be easily overstimulated by the external world, resulting in a feeling that many introverts describe as “too much” (olsen laney, 2002, p. 19).
While extroverts need to expend energy to recharge, introverts need to stop wasting energy and rest.
This book aims to help people who classify themselves as introverts to recognize their strengths and analytical potential. it also provides actionable strategies for introverts to succeed at work and build meaningful relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
also provides strategies for introverts to conserve their energy and coping mechanisms to help them bounce back when exposed to more demanding social situations.
look for the book on amazon.
3. surrounded by idiots: the four types of human behavior and how to communicate effectively with each in business (and in life) – thomas erikson
erikson offers readers different color-coded personality ratings (yellow, red, blue, and green) that represent a key component of human behavior for each of the colors.
erikson breaks each color down by chapter and lists specific behaviors and traits that readers can relate to; he claims that about 80% of people are governed by a combination of two colors.
The book aims to give readers the tools to understand themselves and the people around them with the goal of improving communication through understanding one’s motivations and behavior.
This is a good general book for people looking to gain a basic understanding of personality theory and learn how to communicate with people with different traits.
look for the book on amazon.
the 6 best books to teach children social skills
Teaching children social skills is an essential part of preparing them to succeed in the world.
children who display higher social competence (i.e., sharing, cooperating, and helping others) are more likely to go on to higher education and get better-paying jobs than children who struggle with social competence (robert wood johnson foundation, 2015).
It is important to provide educators, parents, and other support professionals with resources to help them understand how social skills develop in children and information about the theory behind child development.
It is equally important that children and adolescents have resources that help facilitate the development of their own personality and social skills.
This section is divided into two parts:
- workbooks for children and adolescents these books are designed for the child and provide different activities aimed at developing and fostering social skills.
- resources to help professionals and parents though they also offer activities to help foster social skills and may have sections dealing with the development of social skills, these books are intended to provide adults with an understanding of how to foster social skills in children.
notebooks for children and adolescents
1. let’s be friends: a workbook to help children learn social skills & make great friends – lawrence shapiro
Shapiro’s book offers a combination of thoughtful and practical strategies for children to implement when developing friendships.
Each chapter begins with a motivational quote or statement to build the reader’s self-esteem while working through the more sensitive issues the book raises regarding interacting with others.
Activities help children develop self-awareness and reflect on their behavior in social situations. In addition, they are relevant to the social challenges that children face in today’s world, as there are several activities focused on online etiquette and writing an email to a friend.
This book would be more suitable for children between the ages of 10 and 16, as some of the activities are a bit complex and require a higher level of understanding.
look for the book on amazon.
2. Growing Friendships: A Kids’ Guide to Making and Keeping Friends – Dr. eileen kennedy-moore and christine mclaughlin
This book provides case studies and personal stories documenting the social challenges children may experience.
Instead of providing activities, Kennedy-Moore and McLaughlin present the challenges in easy-to-follow comics and tips that are relevant to each situation.
The advice is supported by images that document how the characters react, giving children an idea of how others might respond in different situations.
Since the book focuses on guiding children through the steps of making and keeping friends in different situations, it would be more useful for younger children between the ages of 6 and 12.
See Also: The 5 Best Charles Bukowski Poetry Books – Owlcation
The images allow children to visualize appropriate behavior and immediately make the connection between their personal experiences and what the characters are saying.
look for the book on amazon.
3. the social success workbook for teens – barbara cooper and nancy widdows
This book is an excellent resource for adolescents who need to expand their social skills and have clinical diagnoses such as autism or non-verbal disorders.
The workbook focuses on calming strategies and recognizing difficult emotions that adolescents with more prominent social disturbances may experience when entering unfamiliar or difficult situations.
In addition to providing various strategies around emotional recognition, the book also provides self-esteem building exercises to help teens understand their strengths.
Because the book is designed specifically for teens who may have diagnosed autism and other social skills issues, there is less text and more focus on pictures and drawing one’s own emotions, making it a great resource for teens who may also have they have learning problems. disabilities and difficulty reading a lot of text.
look for the book on amazon.
resources to help professionals and parents
1. Social Rules for Kids: The Top 100 Social Rules Kids Need to Succeed – Susan Diamond
Looking for a book you can read with your child?
This book is designed to facilitate parent-child conversation about social skills and communication.
The book has activities that children and parents can work on together that allow them to share their experiences and also provide positive education on how to act in specific situations.
Several scenarios also offer role-play activities, which are a great opportunity for parents and children to put their skills to the test.
acting out difficult social scenarios with a trusted adult is a great way for parents and children to become more aware of each other’s perspective.
look for the book on amazon.
2. 8 keys to raising the peculiar child: how to help a child who does not fit in (at all) – mark bowers
This book provides benchmarks for parents to identify if their child is experiencing social challenges or “quirkiness.”
bowers begins by giving parents specific characteristics that are not developmentally appropriate and may be of concern in their children’s social development.
In addition, Bowers offers strategies for parents to understand how their children’s brains work when they display these traits and provides specific strategies to help further.
The landmarks and characterization of these children as quirky allow for easy accessibility, and this book can be used to identify signs that a child is experiencing difficulty.
is a good starting point for parents seeking to better understand their children’s behavior and is not limited by diagnostic criteria.
look for the book on amazon.
helpful resources from positivepsychology.com
The Positive Relationships Masterclass© aims to help participants build healthy relationships and increase well-being as well as life satisfaction. The program provides key relationship principles and the tools to build loving and supportive bonds with people. Understanding how to build healthy, positive relationships is a key social skill that people of all ages can use to achieve personal satisfaction.
Our Positive Psychology Toolkit© also provides various resources to help facilitate healthy communication and develop social skills. These exercises on setting limits, unresolved listening, and giving negative feedback provide positive guidance on how to deal with more difficult social situations that people may struggle with in their everyday lives.
In addition to our selection of masterclasses and helpful toolkit, we have another article worth reading that offers educational psychology books, interventions, and applications for those interested in educational psychology.
If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others communicate better, this collection contains 17 validated positive communication tools for professionals. use them to help others improve their communication skills and form deeper, more positive relationships.
a message to take home
Your personality affects your social reactions in everyday situations, but that shouldn’t stop you. Understanding yourself and those around you is a good starting point for improving your social interactions.
Books that help develop social skills will give you a better understanding of how your personality can affect your social reactions in everyday situations.
An important thing to remember when working to improve your social muscle is to take it one day and one situation at a time. progress doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes the strategies that work for others may not work for you.
You may also consider reading our article ’11 Social Skills Worksheets for Smooth Social Interactions’ which provides social skills worksheets if you want to go beyond reading to improve your skill set.
Feel free to consult a wide variety of resources and seek the advice of a trained therapist or coach if you are still struggling to be your best.
If you’re willing to work hard, you’ll make it. Share your thoughts on the books recommended in this article and any other resources you’ve found helpful on your journey to becoming more socially attuned.
We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three free self-compassion exercises.
See Also: 5 Must-Read Books That Feature Strong, Independent Women – GirlTalkHQ