There are plenty of books available for those who are interested in learning more about borderline personality disorder. many are helpful to those who have recently been diagnosed or want more information about their treatment options. some are helpful for family/friends of those with bpd.
I strongly believe that borderline personality disorder is the #1 most stigmatized mental illness out there. every mention in pop culture, online forums, and even real-life conversation seems to assume the worst in anyone who suffers from it. I had therapists, psychologists, and counselors refuse to see me once they found out about my diagnosis, and that made me wary of seeking treatment. the fear of rejection/abandonment is exceptionally great in this disorder, so it is very upsetting when people you ask for help reject you.
You are reading: Borderline personality disorder books self help
bpd is often the result of childhood trauma. many times it is from experiencing or being exposed to severe abuse. this can be physical (including sexual), emotional, or verbal abuse. it may even be all of them. More often than not, this abuse comes from parents or other trusted authority figures. the result is growing up with a lack of trust in people, and this can manifest itself in an inability to maintain relationships. even if those with bpd do manage to marry and/or start a family, these relationships often end in divorce.
I’ve personally been through a divorce due in part to bpd, and it’s excruciating. my diagnosis came right after my marriage ended and it helped explain a lot about why things ended the way they did.
I really think it’s important to discuss bpd more widely to help lessen the stigma. I also believe that people need to educate themselves about this disorder, and books are a great way to do that. this list has been compiled to help provide insight for those seeking to understand this particular mental illness and become more accepting of it.
The following list is in no particular order and all links are my personal affiliate links. if you choose to buy them, I will earn a small commission. thank you for your support.
“i hate you, don’t leave me” by jerold j. kreismann
This book is often at the top of all bpd must-read lists, and there’s a good reason for that. Kreisman and Straus put years of research into this book, and it has become the definitive book on the disorder.
This book reviews the symptoms of BPD and delves into each of them. discusses risk factors for this mental illness, which may be helpful to those struggling to understand how or why people develop it. discusses myths about the disorder, including the belief that people with bpd are just “manipulatives.” explains the emotional regulation problems that prevent us from behaving as we would like.
also discusses treatment methods and medications that can help control symptoms.
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This book deserves its reputation as one of the best resources for newly diagnosed bpd patients and those who care for them.
fun fact: demi lovato read this book and wrote her hit song with the same title!
“loving someone with borderline personality disorder” by shari y. endowment
bpd gets a lot of negative press. Because of this, many friends and family members of newly diagnosed people may feel horrified, lost, or in conflict with their loved one. lack of understanding of this disorder can lead to judgment and negativity that can add undue stress.
shari manning helps demystify this disorder to help loved ones better understand it. she also gives helpful tips on how they can help with the recovery process. This book shows the patient in a new light so that she can work towards better relationships with those who care for her.
“the buddha and the border” by kiera van gelder
This book is an amazing first-person account of the author’s early diagnosis and recovery experience. van gelder’s writing style is perfect for the topic, and she shares her inspiring story with a “warts and all” attitude, allowing the reader to understand the struggles that led to her bpd diagnosis. /p>
His recovery was achieved through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and online dating, and brings hope to those just starting out who can’t believe they’ll ever really get better.
“get me out of here” by rachel reiland
This book is a great resource for anyone who received their diagnosis a little later in life. is a brilliantly honest memoir that reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside. Rachel Reiland’s recovery was achieved through intensive therapy, but she also relied heavily on her loved ones for support.
This book is a bit longer than the others, but well worth it.
“girl who needs a tourniquet” by merri lisa johnson
johnson’s book paints a complete picture of mental illness and recovery. she shares her experiences of dysfunction and dysregulation as a self-proclaimed “psycho girl”. and she shares her path to early recovery. The story can be confusing and messy as it intersperses information about bpd throughout, but it gives an accurate account of the journey bpd may take.
“remains of a life on paper” by pamela and bea tusiani
This book definitely needs a warning for those who are emotionally vulnerable. pamela tusiani suffered from severe bpd when she was a young adult and kept diaries at all times. her when she died at the age of 23 from a reaction to one of her medications, her mother and her sister compiled her diary entries, as well as their own notes on conversations, into a book .
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While this is not necessarily a bpd guide of sorts, it does offer insight into the battle that is being waged through those who battle this disease on a daily basis. the complexity of this disorder is portrayed in the most real way imaginable, and the tragic end of a beautiful life is all the more horrific for it.
“beyond the limit: real stories of recovery” by perry d. Hoffman and John G. gunderson
This collection includes short stories from people who have experienced bpd. hoffman and gunderson are experts on bpd and were able to include stories with a wide range of symptoms. explore therapies and recovery options for those in the battle.
The best part of this book is that it does not suggest that two cases are the same, nor two recovery approaches. mental illness is different for everyone, even those with the same diagnosis. as such, one needs to be open to different solutions.
“stronger than bpd” by debbie corso
debbie corso is a bpd survivor and advocate, and she compiled this book to help people with bpd find their own path to recovery. Packed with information on dialectical behavior therapy and recovery skills, it features real-life examples to illustrate how others have overcome these issues and come out stronger on the other side.
“stop walking on eggshells” by paul mason and randi kreger
This book should be required reading for anyone who has a loved one with borderline personality disorder. does a great job of helping the reader learn compassion and empathy without excusing the behavior of the person with bpd.
This book is about setting boundaries while still supporting your loved one. helps the reader continue to maintain their own mental health while continuing to love someone with bpd.
“mindfulness for borderline personality disorder” by blaise aguirre and gillian galen
This book is a must read for those personally struggling with bpd. helps to understand the idea of emotional regulation, comparing those with borderline with “emotional burn victims”. illustrates how even the slightest irritating emotion can cause us extreme pain and distress.
This book looks at how mindfulness helps strengthen the brain and manage symptoms. dbt is known to be the standard of care for bpd, and this book helps explain exactly how.
“dealing with bpd” by blaise aguirre and gillian galen
From the same authors as Mindfulness for BPD, this book is ideal for the person who is ready to begin the hard work of recovery. it’s a great workbook and is the perfect companion to mindfulness, or you can use it on its own. provides a variety of dbt and cbt practices that can be used as evidence-based, healthy coping skills.
I hope you check out some of these books, as they are all valuable in their own right. I recommend it
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