show, don’t tell is one of the most frequent advice among writers. but just like “write what you know” and “write every day”, it can be hard to follow, especially if you don’t really know what it means! Fortunately, we’re here to show you exactly what that entails. we’ll explain the various benefits of “showing” in writing and provide many helpful examples.
‘show, don’t tell’: a quick definition
show not tell is a writing technique in which the story and characters are related through sensory details and actions rather than exposition. encourages a writing style that is more immersive for the reader, allowing them to “be in the room” with the characters.
You are reading: Show don’t tell examples from books
in his most repeated quote, chekhov said: “don’t tell me the moon is shining. show me the flash of light on broken glass.”
in short: showing illustrates, while telling simply states. here’s a quick example of show versus tell:
Sample: When his mother turned off the light and left the room, Michael tensed. he huddled under the covers, clutching the sheets and holding his breath as the wind brushed past the curtain.
story: michael was very afraid of the dark.
In the “show” example, instead of simply saying that Michael is afraid of the dark, we’ve put him in a situation where his experience of that fear takes center stage. the reader can deduce the same information that he would get from the “relative” example, but in a much more convincing way.
the benefits of ‘show, don’t tell’
showing also helps develop characters in a way that isn’t just listing their traits. For example, instead of telling her readers that “gina was selfish and immature,” she could show this side of her by writing a scene where she complains that everyone forgot her half-birthday. or if you have an extremely determined character, show her that she really sticks to something, don’t just say “she was sticky”.
Overall, when done right, the presentation draws readers into the narrative with a truly immersive description. it contributes to the development of the story but also leaves certain things to the reader’s interpretation, which is much more interesting than making everything explicit. (Though, of course, you can still use language to alter their perception.)
The Bottom Line: Telling can be faster, and you certainly need to tell something in every story (more on that later), but showing should almost always be your primary strategy.
alright, that’s enough theory for now! Let’s talk about how you can show, not tell, in your own work. here are five key tips on how to show rather than tell in a story
four practical ‘show, don’t tell’ tips
Let’s start with one of the most important aspects of storytelling…
tip #1. create a sense of environment
One of the best ways to show rather than tell is to create a sense of setting. You can do this by writing about how the characters perceive and interact with their surroundings, weaving lots of sensory details and occasional action into the scene. this is a particularly good way to give your story immediacy, as the reader should be able to imagine themselves in that same setting.
saying: I walked through the woods. It was already autumn and it was getting cold.
showing: dry orange leaves crunched under my feet as I turned up the collar of my coat.
tip #2. use the dialog to display the character
In addition to setting, you can also use dialogue to demonstrate elements of the story beyond surface conversation. a character’s speech will tell the reader a lot about him, especially when first introduced.
Do they use long sentences and polysyllabic words, or do they prefer short, punchy answers? Are they likely to slang and call an authority figure “friend” or “fam” or respectfully address them as “mr. so-and-so”?
tip #3. when in doubt, always describe the action
“telling” almost always stops narrative momentum. imagine having to describe the setting every time your characters enter a new space: whatever rhythm you’ve built into your chapter would be destroyed. however, it is still important to evoke the setting and put the scene in context. and that’s where displaying the action comes in handy.
let’s say you start your scene with your character walking through st mark’s square in venice. Instead of describing the pigeons, the tourists, and the layout of the space, you can evoke it through action:
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He was late. San Marco’s clock tower had struck one and Enzo found himself pushing against the tide of tourists milling toward the cafes lining Piazza San Marco. a group of pigeons scattered in front of him.
Through the action, you can describe the setting of the scene while keeping your story moving forward.
tip #4. use strong details, but don’t overdo it
Strong and vivid details are crucial to the display process. however, that doesn’t mean you should include too many details, especially those that are too embellished. This kind of overly ornate language can be just as bad as overly basic language, as it can make the reader lose interest in your super-dense prose.
Too much detail: The statue felt rough, its aged facade covered in dust and dirt as I weighed it in my hand, noting its jagged curves and fanta-color hue.
fair: it was heavier than it looked. part of the orange facade fell apart in my hand when I picked it up.
Get the balance right by alternating between simple and complex sentences and ideas, and different types of sensory details, so the reader isn’t overloaded with just one type.
examples of ‘show, don’t tell’
To break this technique down further, here are some additional “show, don’t tell” examples of authors who show rather than tell in their writing. if you want to explore even more examples of this tactic, just open the nearest novel! Almost all works of fiction involve showmanship, and observing the tactics of successful authors is one of the best ways to learn for yourself.
example #1. the handmaid’s tale by margaret atwood
I once had a garden. I can remember the smell of the turned up earth, the plump shapes of the bulbs held in the hands, the fullness, the dry whisper of the seeds between the fingers. time could pass faster that way. sometimes the commander’s wife has a chair brought up and just sits on it, in her garden. from a distance it looks like peace.
This passage uses various senses (smell, touch and sound) to recreate the atmosphere of Offred’s old garden, romanticizing the act of tending the garden to show that she misses those days. it also connects that peaceful past with the present, which means that many people no longer feel at peace, including the commander’s wife.
example #2. it’s from stephen king
In this opening scene, young georgie runs after his toy boat as he is unknowingly drawn to it by a malevolent force.
now here he was, chasing his boat down the left side of witcham street. she was running fast, but the water was running faster and his boat was moving forward. she heard a deepening roar and saw that, fifty meters below, the water from the gutter was cascading into a storm drain that was still open. It was a long, dark semicircle carved into the curb, and as Georgie watched, a bare branch, its bark as dark and shiny as seal fur, shot into the jaws of the storm drain.
King makes the rushing streams of a rainy day cause georgie to run past them, unable to keep up. he then sees the storm drain, which the king aptly calls “maw” (an apt metaphor), and the threat of it is heightened by the sound of its “deepening roar” and the fact that it swallows a branch whole . Needless to say, poor georgie’s boat doesn’t stand a chance.
Example #3. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
In this scene, a suburban husband wakes up to the sound of his wife eating.
My morning breath warmed the pillow and I changed the subject in my mind. today was not a day to doubt or regret, it was a day to do. Downstairs, I could hear the return of a long-lost sound: Amy preparing breakfast. banging on wooden cabinets (lump-knock!), rattling tin and glass containers (ding-ring!), shuffling and sorting a collection of metal pots and iron pans (ruzz-shuzz!). a culinary orchestra tuning up, banging vigorously towards the end.
this passage starts out quite simply, and turns into the great metaphor of kitchen noises as a “culinary orchestra”. it is also notable for its use of onomatopoeia, which is a great tactic for “showing” sound.
however, this passage isn’t just what nick hears: it’s also what he feels (“my morning breath warmed the pillow”) and thinks (“I changed the subject in my mind”). the intimate description draws the reader in, and the pacing (literally!) of the passage keeps them hooked.
example #4. station eleven by emily st. John Mandel
In this passage, Kristen contemplates her loneliness.
He had never quite let go of the idea that if he reached far enough with his thoughts, he might find someone waiting, that if two people projected their thoughts outward at the same moment, they might somehow meet at the same time. medium.
The theme of loneliness is evoked in specific detail: the character is shown thinking desperately of human connection. his use of language, “he went far enough”, “threw his thoughts out”, illustrates how extreme the isolation of the character is. this also ties in with the post-apocalyptic novel’s theme of social breakdown, which naturally results in isolation. Overall, this description gives us a much better idea of Kirsten’s character and the world of Season Eleven than if she were to write, she “wished she wasn’t so alone.”
example #5. charlotte’s web by e.b. white
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In this opening scene, Fern, a very young farmer’s daughter, learns of a new litter of piglets.
“where does daddy go with that axe?” said fern to his mother.
“out of the pig house,” replied mrs. arable. “some pigs were born last night.”
“I don’t see why you need an axe,” continued Fern, who was only eight years old.
“Well,” said his mother, “one of the pigs is a dwarf. He is very small and weak, and will never be of any use. That is why your father has decided to kill him.”
“delete it?” he screeched fern. “You mean kill him? Just because he’s smaller than the others?”
from this brief conversation, e.b. white clearly characterizes the fern and sets the central plot in motion. After noticing that his father is about to kill a dwarf pig, Fern steps in to save Wilbur (as he will soon be christened), who will become the main character of the story. this passage also introduces the themes of empathy towards animals and the prospect of death, which permeate the rest of the book. white could have just written “fern cared a lot about animals”, but from the dialogue, we see for ourselves; plus, we have an idea of how the plot could develop from here.
example #6. oliver twist by charles dickens
in this excerpt, oliver arrives in london for the first time.
A dirtier or more miserable place I had never seen. the street was very narrow and muddy, and the air was full of foul odors. there were many small shops; but the only stock in the shop seemed to be scores of children who, even at this time of night, crawled in and out of doors, or yelled from inside. the only places that seemed to prosper amidst the general ruin of the place were the taverns… oliver was wondering if it would not be better to run, when they reached the bottom of the hill.
oliver’s initial impression of london hits us like a train: you can almost taste the dirty air and hear the children screaming for yourself. And if London’s extreme depravity wasn’t already apparent enough from the description, you can tell from Oliver’s reaction that it must be pretty bad; for context, he just walked over 30 miles to get to london, and this is the first thing that really fazes him.
of course, dickens could have simply written, “oliver arrived in london. he was dirty and crowded.” But while this more or less sums up the above passage, it completely misses the visceral sense of the setting and Oliver’s feelings towards that setting. without these details, the description would be totally generic.
example #7. fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury
In this scene, Montag, a “fireman” tasked with destroying books, hears his boss’s voice in his head, describing burning pages.
I could hear beatty’s voice. sit down, montag. clock. delicately, like the petals of a flower. turn on the first page, turn on the second page. each one becomes a black butterfly. beautiful, huh? turn on the third page from the second and so on, chain-smoking, chapter by chapter, all the silly things the words mean, all the false promises, all the second-hand notions and time-worn philosophies.”
This excellent use of metaphor (taken from our list of 97 Metaphors in Literature and Pop Culture) compares burned book pages to “black butterflies” – an eerie image that, appropriately enough, is burned into our brains. Although no book actually burns at this point (Montag is just imagining it), the reader can still vividly see what it would look like. we shudder at the contrast between the innocent, petal-like pages and the monstrous, destructive fire. in fact, this is the pinnacle of the show; really shows how powerful figurative language can be.
example #8. white teeth by zadie smith
archie scrambling up the stairs, as usual cursing and blinding, wilting under the weight of the boxes Clara could carry two, three at a time effortlessly; Clara taking a break, squinting in the hot May sun, trying to get her bearings. she took off a small purple vest and leaned against the front door. what kind of place was this? that was the thing, you see, you couldn’t be sure.
The stream of consciousness style here evokes the rushed chaos of a move. Plus, the juxtaposed descriptions of Archie and Clara (he “digging, cursing, blinding, and withering” as she calmly assesses the situation) show just how different they are, a disparity that will only grow as the book progresses.
Is it okay to say ever?
of course, sometimes you have no choice but to “tell” a bit in a story. yes, it is a narrative shortcut, but sometimes shortcuts are necessary, especially when you are trying to explain something quickly, without fanfare or immersive evocations for the readers. writers often “tell” at the beginning of a story to convey exposition, or after a “big reveal” where certain details just need to be pinpointed. The important thing is the balance; As long as you don’t have much to say or show, you should be fine.
Finally, remember that there are no hard and fast rules for writing. If you’re worried you’re saying too much and not showing enough, but your writing still flows well and engages readers, don’t worry! feel compelled to change it! And as Jim Thomas says in the video above: “In the arts, rules are more like friendly suggestions. this is especially helpful to remember when he’s creating his first or second draft: he’s going to “say” and it’s fine. you’re still figuring out what your story is about.”
So, whether you’re more inclined to show or tell, just know that with practice, you’ll find the exact style that works for you. And when that happens, you’ll show everyone (sorry, we couldn’t resist!) what you’re made of as a writer.
Is it hard for you to show, not tell? Leave any questions, concerns, or tips in the comments below!
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