If you’re having trouble communicating with family and friends, you’re not alone. communication, whether written or oral, is one of the most complicated and feared skills.
Regardless of how powerful or intelligent some people may seem, many harbor insecurities about how they write or how they communicate in front of others. but effective communication skills are a must for the individual and the company. In fact, companies are best positioned to thrive when they have a clear message and communication strategy that describes who they are in the world, what they want to be known for, and what sets them apart. and executives who can move others to action with their words are loved.
You are reading: Top books on communication
Often when we think of skills, we focus on hard skills. But being able to communicate well is one of the most important soft skills you can develop, and it’s also a key determinant of success. think of your doctor, dentist, lawyer, accountant, babysitter, or your child’s teacher. your relationship with these people and your trust in them is influenced by the way they communicate.
Communications can possibly make or break the company or the leader. Fortunately, there are plenty of resources to help you improve in this area. a lot of communication books focus on everything from how you write, how you talk, how you communicate with family and friends, and how you use communications to advocate for issues important to you.
Books are impactful whether you’re a natural communicator, introvert or extrovert. They will help you if you are struggling to find and assert your voice in personal or professional relationships or if you are struggling to maintain appropriate boundaries at work and home. I’ve divided the list into books that focus specifically on communication at work and books that apply to your communication and social skills at work and at home.
books on communication at work
1. never eat alone
never eat alone is one of my favorite books. Author Keith Ferrazi highlights the importance of cultivating mutually beneficial relationships and makes a strong case for how those relationships can propel one toward extraordinary success.
For someone like me who is part introvert and part extrovert, the book is a reminder to be intentional about building relationships. it’s easy to trust people you’re already in a relationship with, but expanding one’s circle is not only a good idea, it’s essential for career and professional growth.
what I like most about the book is that ferrazi not only tells you what to do, but guides readers through “how to do it”. there are several practical tips for cultivating relationships and powerful anecdotes on how doing so can change one’s life.
get the book here!
2. about becoming fearless
ariana huffington’s “going fearless” was also transformative. she covers everything from becoming fearless in the workplace to passionately pursuing her personal calling.
The truth is that fear is a common reality for many of our lives. We allow fear to keep us from achieving our dreams, from speaking our truth, or from staying in unhealthy situations.
Based on her own experiences, huffington guides readers through strategies for confronting and overcoming fear.
get the book here!
3. Extraordinary Public Relations, Regular Budget: A Strategy Guide
If you’re interested in learning strategies to promote your work and ideas, my own book is an excellent resource.
The book highlights case studies of actual social justice campaigns and the strategies my team and I use to put important issues on reporters’ radar. The book also focuses on how to cultivate relationships with reporters, who can have a huge impact on how the world, including your audience, views you and your work.
get the book here!
4. how to win friends and influence people
Written in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a timeless treasure. is one of the best-selling books of all time.
The book focuses on strategies for creating and maintaining powerful relationships. this is key because your success is directly related to the relationships you cultivate and the power of those relationships.
discusses principles such as appealing to your colleague’s interest rather than focusing solely on your own interest, the importance of memorizing others’ names, and the lost art of listening.
carnegie focuses on the power of being truly interested in other people, which is fundamental. the book is a reminder that people will take your advice, act on your recommendations if they like you and if they think they like you. they will not follow you based solely on your leadership position or rank in an organization.
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There are so many communication gems in this book, it deserves an article of its own. suffice it to say that this is a book you should buy yesterday. it really is that good.
get the book here!
5. words that work
“words that work” by frank luntz is the last book I’ve read on communications. it’s juicy luntz brilliantly describes that people hear what you say through the lens of their own experience.
Communication is less about what you say and more about what people hear. therefore, it is important to focus on what people are likely to hear to avoid saying the wrong thing or having your message misunderstood. that’s why certain words are deeply triggering for certain communities.
once you use trigger or charged words, nothing else you say matters. your audience will get bogged down and lose your entire message.
again, this book is a must read for anyone who values communication and whose job depends on communicating well.
get the book here!
6. crucial conversations
I am learning that we live in a society where telling the truth, especially unsolicited truth, is not always welcome. in fact, it takes tremendous courage to be direct and tell the truth.
In my profession, I’m routinely asked for input when the people I work with have media interviews. A person’s ability to improve, media or otherwise, is directly related to the training and feedback they receive, but that doesn’t necessarily make telling the truth any easier.
When commentators, reporters, or even political leaders tell the truth as they see it, they sometimes face harsh criticism. however, no relationship works without each party having the freedom and space to speak the truth in love.
“crucial conversations” is a roadmap for having difficult but necessary conversations in the workplace and at home. If you’re looking to improve your social skills or communicate unpleasant information, “Crucial Conversations” is a must-read. The fact is that most of us are taught not to tell the truth, so training in this area is beneficial.
get the book here!
7. leadership presence
“leadership presence” by belle linda halpern and kathy lubar is a gem. I was introduced to this book during an executive coaching session 10 years ago. I was struggling with how to develop seriousness and how to communicate while having the strength of presence.
this was one of the books my coach, sheryl phillips, recommended to me. what I appreciated most about this book is the importance of non-verbal languages in communication and the strategies that she offers to develop the presence of leadership.
get the book here!
books on how to communicate at home
8. the power of now
“the power of now” by eckart tolle was transformative. describes how to stay present with your present thoughts and situations.
There have been many times when I have reacted to things that happened in the past or things that could happen in the future. such ruminations contribute greatly to internal suffering. they also prevent us from being fully present in the lives of our family and friends.
For this reason, I highly recommend the old and evergreen, the power of now.
get the book here!
9. five love languages
We are all created in the image of God. we express our love and image of god differently.
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In “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, Chapman explores the importance of understanding not only our own love language, but also the love language of our family and friends. the book identifies the five love languages as “words of affirmation,” “acts of service,” “receiving gifts,” “quality time,” and “physical touch.”
For example, my love language is twofold, “quality time” and “acts of service.” if a person wants to communicate his love to me, he should spend time with me and perform acts of service. my sister on the other hand values time. she gets seasick when I spend time with her and her family. when I tried to offer gifts instead of time, our relationship suffered. the best way for me to express love to him is to offer him uninterrupted time. that means time when I’m not doing other things, like playing on my cell phone, working, or being physically present but mentally busy.
You can’t have a healthy relationship at work or at home without understanding what the people around you need to feel valued and respected. for this reason, I highly recommend the five love languages.
get the book here!
10. limits
dr. The “Limits” of Henry Cloud is a timeless relationship book. it is essential because boundaries inform people how they should and should not behave in their lives.
For people who have experienced childhood abuse, it can be difficult to establish or know when one’s boundaries have been violated. however, you cannot have a healthy relationship without creating guardrails that keep you safe and let people know how they can show up in your life.
Anger is often an indication that a boundary has been violated. when I have peeled the onion, sometimes I realize that I was not clear with the limits.
get the book here!
11. the four agreements
“the four agreements” by don miguel ruiz is a must read for all those seeking enlightenment and restoration in relationships. it is also essential for people seeking to end the personal suffering caused by incessant rumination.
In summary, the four agreements are: 1. don’t take anything personally, 2. be impeccable with your word, 3. don’t make assumptions, and 4. always do your best. In addition to the book, the teachings are also available in a compact deck of cards that offers daily reflections.
get the book here!
books on written communication
12. when typing
Since I’m a professional communicator, I don’t think it’s possible to write an article about communication and social skills without talking about writing.
Regardless of what you do or who you are, at some point you will need to put your ideas and thoughts on paper. From standard office correspondence to lengthy essays, business papers, and reports, you’re bound to write.
one of the most inspiring and useful books on writing i have read is on writing by stephen king. it covers everything from the mechanics of writing to his personal journey with the written word. the book is humorous, easy to digest and inspiring.
get the book here!
13. wounds of passion: a life of writing
bell hooks is one of the most prolific writers of all time. Like Stephen King, he churns out entire manuscripts the way so many of us communicate via text: nonstop. “Wounds of Passion: The Life of Writing” focuses on Hooks’ early career as a writer and the process she followed to produce some of her earliest works.
Like King’s “On Writing,” Hooks’s book is a bit autobiographical, providing insights into her journey and, well, her life as a writer. She documents the trials she experienced, including an abusive relationship, while she was discovering herself as a writer.
If you’re serious about effective communications and need help demystifying the process, these books are a must-read.
get the book here!
While there are several books on this list, I recommend each one as needed to develop better social skills and better relationships.
featured photo credit: josh felise via unsplash.com
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