Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world.
There should be an instruction manual on child care. Many of us moms (and dads) haven’t had parenting training or classes. It is not something for which we are very well prepared.
You are reading: Best child development books
I get asked all the time for recommendations on the best books for parents.
With the overwhelming number of parenting books, advice from friends and family, and blogs on the internet, it’s hard to sift through them and find the really good ones.
As with everything at parenting for brain, we’re looking for the best science-based parenting books to help parents be the best parents they want to be. We share our picks for this year’s top-rated parenting books.
Best Parenting Books
here is the list of the best evidence-based parenting books.
1. parenting from the inside out
by daniel j. siegel and mary hartzell
Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist and professor at UCLA School of Medicine, has written several wonderful books on science-based parenting. parenting from the inside out is one of his best known works.
This book explains why most parents tend to parent the way they were raised. our childhood affects how we parent, no matter how much we want to deny the bonds. when nothing seems to work, when your child doesn’t respond to any conventional approach, it’s time for parents to look within.
One thing we can do to become better parents is to examine our childhood and family history to gain a better understanding of ourselves. even those who have had a happy childhood can have unresolved issues that keep them from being the best parents they can be.
This book draws on the neurodevelopmental findings and attachment theory research of Bowlby and Ainsworth to help parents make sense of their life stories. Age-appropriate strategies are provided that not only help parents deal with everyday struggles, but also demonstrate how “brain integration” can help young children grow and thrive.
This book also rightly points out the importance of parent-child relationships and how a good relationship can enhance the parenting experience.
2. positive discipline a-z
by jane nelsen, lynn lott and h. stephen glenn
positive discipline a-z is full of clear answers for new parents, from potty training to how to deal with power struggles. Its easy-to-read format is convenient for busy or working parents who are constantly on the go.
Positive discipline is an effective discipline method based on mutual respect and positive guidance. focuses on creating learning opportunities (for the future) instead of punishing mistakes (of the past).
jane nelsen has written a number of authoritative parenting books on this topic, each aimed at a slightly different age group or audience, but using a similar approach, e.g. first three years, preschool, teens, teacher’s guide, parent tool cards, etc.
My recommendation is to start with this or the original positive discipline, and then supplement with those for individual age groups if necessary.
3. the child with a complete brain
by daniel j. siegel and tina payne bryson
The “whole brain child” approach is about integrating different parts of the brain to help our children live balanced, creative, and meaningful lives. In this book, Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist and professor at UCLA School of Medicine, explains in a creative and simple way how the different regions of our brain affect our thinking and emotions in daily life.
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presents 12 strategies (steps) for integrating our upstairs (decision-making) and downstairs (reactive) brains, as well as our left (logical) and right (emotional) brains to improve our emotional intelligence. there are some good real life examples to help clarify the points.
4. the science of parenting
by margot sunderland
If you’re only going to get one parenting book, this is the one I recommend you get. Understanding healthy brain development and physiology is paramount to understanding children’s behavior and what we can do to enhance their growth.
This book shows parents how to use science to parent more effectively. dispel parenting myths with solid scientific facts. it is not based on unproven conventional wisdom or “theories” based on any particular “expert”.
When I first read this book, I was shocked at how much scientists already knew about child development. and yet, as a parent, I still received opinion-based tips and advice that only delivered the results parents want without regard to its impact on our children’s well-being.
This is a must read for all parents.
5. the boy who was raised as a dog
by bruce d. perry and maia szalavitz
It may seem strange that it appears on a list of parenting books, but it is one of my favorite books on understanding a child’s brain development and how childhood trauma can easily be caused by parents or even by mental health professionals without knowing it.
world-renowned child psychiatrist, dr. Bruce Perry presents a series of heartbreaking stories of children severely damaged in their upbringing and how love and social support helped heal these wounds.
Although the stories are extreme circumstances that most of us would not put our children in, they are still very educational as neurological development (brain development) is explained in an easy to understand way.
everyone, including parents, educators, and mental health professionals, will learn a thing or two from it.
6. turning tantrums into wins
by pamela li
This book became number 1 in Amazon sales within a few days of its publication.
Written with busy parents in mind, this book is a short read. It is one of the best parenting books for young children, ahem, if I may say so.
It’s packed with scientific information that can help parents calm toddler tantrums quickly, especially during those terrible two-year-old tantrums.
7. the autonomous child
by william stixrud and ned johnson
The Self-Driven Child by clinical psychologist William Stixrud and educator Ned Johnson is absolutely the best evidence-based book on child motivation for good reason.
This book pinpoints the most common things that cause lack of motivation in children and the proper solution. helps parents move from being their children’s administrators to being their advisors.
The basis of the practical advice is a clear understanding of the structure and development of the brain based on neuroscience and psychology. Each chapter ends with a summary and strategies that encourage parents to apply the information in practical ways. parents get smart advice on how to prepare their children for success in today’s school system.
This is an excellent read for all parents who want to raise successful and motivated children.
8. the explosive boy
by ross w. green
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Why are some toddlers calm and relaxed while others are challenging and hard to calm down?
the explosive children’s book defines misbehaving children as “inflexible-explosives”. children who are seemingly explosive are trapped in inflexibility that prevents them from changing their mindset from one setting to another. These children also have self-regulation problems. as a result, they easily explode when faced with transitions.
This book presents practical strategies to help children deal with their low flexibility and low tolerance for frustration. many parents of children with oppositional defiant disorder find it a helpful resource.
One point I disagree with is that the author believes that these strategies are ways to keep inflexible and explosive children in check to create peace in the home. but I think the strategies apply to all children because they are (should be) based on respect for children, not just those who are bold enough to tell us that they cannot tolerate too restrictive control by parents .
9. beyond behaviors
by mona delahooke
this is another great book that helps parents of weird children and adhd.
delahooke integrates the polyvagal theory of stephen porges with information from sensory systems and neuroscience to help parents deal with challenging behavior. children with behavioral problems typically have an overactive fight or flight response to daily stressors. their high-strung nervous system prevents their brains from developing on par with their peers and causes misbehavior.
The new approach reframes children’s “problems” and helps teachers and parents shift the paradigm from reward and punishment to empathy and compassion. it’s a refreshingly compassionate, brain-based idea.
beyond behaviors exposes the importance of creating a safe environment, respecting individual diversity and understanding the nervous and sensory systems of children. it also provides a roadmap for adults to learn coping skills and regulate their own emotions. Only when parents can provide an emotionally healthy, loving, and kind environment can they help their children develop strong emotional regulation.
10. the highly sensitive child: helping our children thrive when the world overwhelms them
by elaine aron
dr. A highly sensitive person, aron provides insight into the mind and heart of those with sensory processing sensitivity. she explains how to understand the challenges of being a highly sensitive person.
This book provides strategies and practical advice that guide parents through the challenges of raising highly sensitive children. Parents who are highly sensitive can also learn practical steps to take care of themselves while helping their children thrive
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