One of the most common questions I get is, “One of my kids has ADHD. What books should I read to learn more?” today, i rounded up my top 10 adhd books for parents.
some of these are especially geared toward children with ADHD. some of them deal with adhd in all ages, from children to adults. many of them address common co-occurring issues you may have noticed in your child, such as sensory processing challenges, pathological demand avoidance, or oppositional defiant disorder. and I’ve included a couple of parenting books that are written for a general audience, but which I think apply particularly well to families with mixed neurotypes.
You are reading: Books about adhd for parents
- Do you want more support in raising your neurodivergent child? check out my list of these books will make you a kind, collaborative parenting expert at the bookstore.
- we talk about parenting all the time on the neurodivergent podcast.
- i also offer training sessions for parents. Learn more on my life coaching page.
- Looking for more books on neurodiversity in general? check out my list here!
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my top 10 books for parents to understand a child with adhd
1) 8 keys to raising children with adhd by cindy goldrich
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“By combining expert information with sensible, practical advice, the eight ‘key’ concepts here will help parents reduce chaos, improve cooperation, and nurture the perks, like creativity and drive, that often come with All that energy. Herself the mother of a child with ADHD, Cindy Goldrich’s methods are tested not only in her day job coaching other parents, but also in her own home. The tactics for calm, collaboration, consistency , setting consequences, and “parenting the kid you have” provide effective support for our out-of-control kids and overwhelmed parents alike.”
note from danielle: I would recommend this book to people who are relatively new to what adhd is, what it looks like, or how to manage and support a child with adhd. The book is well designed, easy to understand, and based on current science and educational psychology of ADHD. I can personally attest that many of these methods work surprisingly well.
2) transforming the difficult child: the nurturing heart approach by howard glasser
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“the difficult kid transformation brings to life a new way to lead intense kids into strong lives of success. the nurtured heart approach puts a refreshing spin on both parenting and teaching and reveals new techniques and strategies that create completely positive behaviors.”
note from danielle: I’ve mentioned this book on so many podcast episodes and other recommendation lists by now that many of you are probably sick of hearing about it. however, if this is new to you, let me read this quote from a review I wrote on goodreads when I first read it in 2018:
“I have a child who is autistic and a child who definitely has sensory issues and may very well be diagnosed with more things when he is older (update: mixed type adhd as of 2020). [we struggle with] a lot of challenge, lots of testing, control issues, lots of anxiety, lots of screaming tantrums that can last an hour etc. im autistic with spd and anxiety too so we all end up getting each other excited and drained and the older the kids got It got worse it was getting all…I was at the end of my rope last year, just before she turned 3, and I felt so desperate to be able to raise her, let alone successfully raise her. i tried it worked, a lot of what i tried made it worse, and i was exhausted and drained all the time.it was affecting our whole family,and i felt lucky if we made it through 5 hours without an hour tantrum over something unexpected and insignificant.
[This book] totally saved our lives. I implemented some of the simpler suggestions, like using fewer words and smooth but direct command form language, right away, and it worked! It was incredible! she started doing the things I asked her to do at least part of the time! Over time, I was able to change the way I responded to tantrums and other challenges, and we saw great progress in my daughter’s ability to talk about issues and tell me what was making her anxious, rather than just having a tantrum. immediate. ever since we’ve been listening to her and trying to work with her to solve the problem once we know what it is, she’s started to trust more that we’re on her side and will help her, and because she feels more connected, her overall behavior is much better not I would have been able to make these changes without this book and I am very grateful for that.”I recommend this book to all families. saved mine.
3) the explosive child: a new approach to understanding and raising chronically inflexible and easily frustrated children by ross w. green
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“an experienced therapist offers innovative and compassionate techniques to help chronically inflexible children who suffer from excessively intemperate tempers, showing how brain deficits contribute to these problems and offering positive and constructive ways to calm things down.”
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note from danielle: I had already recommended this book to several people even before I finished it in 2017, and have continued to highly recommend it. the author assumes that children are doing the best they can, and that children who “explode” lack the skills that help them adapt to changing situations. The book then offers problem-solving methods so that parents and children can work together to improve everyone’s situation by reducing tantrums.
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The method is similar to those I have seen in other books, but the explanations of what happens from the child’s point of view are superior. the book also has very good and accessible advice on how to apply these methods to neurodivergent children (adhd, autism spectrum, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.) and non-verbal children, generally assuming that all children can contribute to identifying and solve their problems by themselves, which I deeply appreciate.
4) conquering chronic disorganization by judith kolberg
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“Chronic disorganization is disorganization that undermines a person’s quality of life and recurs despite traditional self-help efforts. Conquering Chronic Disorganization is filled with real-life stories from people who used methods simple, innovative, and fun field-proven organizational tools to eliminate clutter, poor time management, and paper clutter in the home or office.”
danielle’s note: this is a thin, old volume that you can often find used. The author, Judith Kolberg, is the founder of the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization, and her book is full of creative advice for creating and maintaining organizational systems that you and your child can really use. this book is 100% neurodivergent friendly and there is no shame here. I love it and recommend it to my clients literally every week.
(bonus book) Complement-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies That Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and Renowned Complement Clinician by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau
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“a professional organizer and a renowned add clinician team up to present this guide that addresses the unique needs of adults with add. offers organizing tips ranging from self-help to using the help of non-professionals and the use of professional assistance.
Danielle’s Note: From the same author as Conquering Chronic Disorganization above, this book is newer, easier to find, and certainly specifically geared toward people with ADHD. I haven’t read this one personally, but if you can’t find the original title, it’s probably worth checking out!
5) Reboot Your Child’s Brain: A Four-Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Boost Grades, and Improve Social Skills by Reversing the Effects of Electronic Screen Time by victoria dunckley
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“dr. victoria dunckley has pioneered a four-week program to treat… electronic display syndrome (ess). dr. dunckley discovered that daily use of interactive display devices, such as computers , video games, smartphones, and tablets: can easily overstimulate a child’s nervous system, triggering a variety of lingering symptoms.In contrast, he found that a prolonged, strict electronic fast alone improves mood, concentration, sleep and behavior, regardless of the child’s diagnosis, reduces the need for medication and makes other treatments more effective.”
note from danielle: I offer this recommendation with many caveats, so read on:
author victoria dunckley wants to say that all screen time is dangerous, and while she has some science to back her up, most of it comes from small studies with small populations and who knows what funding or controls. Although I agree that extended screen time can deregulate us all to some degree, Ella Dunckley doesn’t really want to talk about all the ways that screens (and the apps that run on them) are literal lifesavers for many disabled people. .
It barely worked for years because I couldn’t keep track of a physical calendar, a to-do list, phone numbers, addresses. I have a smartphone now, and I’m not going to claim that it’s good for me in the sense that good food and exercise are good for me, but I also couldn’t be a person in the world with friends and a marriage and kids who are fed, clothed and well loved without that phone.
If you’re struggling with your family’s screen time or think screens are causing behavior problems in your kids, read this book, get some ideas, and find out how to reduce or eliminate screen time from your day-to-day. . , whether you use dunckley’s exact plan or not. I believe that some people, and especially children, are much more prone to screen addiction and screen-related behavior problems than others. but is the science behind it overwhelmingly convincing? No. and dunckley’s personal experience, while very valuable, is with a population at risk with comorbidities, so it cannot be translated to a general population.
I don’t think this is a very balanced approach or, frankly, a particularly useful one in a society (where educational systems and work environments and even shopping mall directories) are dependent on screens. But if you’re having trouble and other approaches haven’t worked, you may be exactly the audience for this book.
6) how to talk so kids will listen & listen for kids to talk by adele faber and elaine mazlish
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“Here’s the best-selling book that will give you the knowledge you need to be effective with your children. Ravely praised by parents and professionals around the world, Faber and Mazlish’s hands-on, respectful approach builds relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.”
note from danielle: this book has been around for almost 40 years, and there’s a reason it’s a classic! This is a general book that is not specifically for neurodivergent families, but it does have some great tips for working with children who are avoidant, anxious, or rigid. I highly recommend this book to all parents, along with Faber’s other classic book, Siblings Without Rivalry: How To Help Your Kids Live Together So You Can Live Too (buy on amazon | bookstore), if it has more than one child.
7) scatterbrain: how mistakes of the mind make humans creative, innovative and successful by henning beck
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“Remember that time you made a math mistake or forgot the name of your favorite song? What if someone told you those embarrassing “brain farts” are actually secret weapons, try of your superiority over computers and ai?
In scatterbrain, we learn that boredom sparks the muse, distractions spark creativity, and misjudging time creates valuable memories, among other benefits of our flawed minds. Throughout, award-winning neuroscientist Henning Beck’s hilarious asides and brain-boosting tips make for delightful reading on the most advanced neuroscience our brains (maybe never) remember.”
note from danielle: many parents are ashamed of their neurodivergent traits and may inadvertently shame their children for those traits as well. It can be easy to get caught up in all the things we can’t do and all the ways we fail. But many of the executive functioning challenges that people with ADHD have are just magnified versions of normal brain function, not glitches at all. I love scatterbrain for being an accessible and easy to understand explanation of why our brains do the things they do. It is a rethinking that we all need to hear sometime.
8) you mean i’m not lazy, stupid or crazy?: the classic self-help book for adults with attention deficit disorder by kate kelly and peggy ramundo
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“there is much literature on children with attention deficit disorder. this paper focuses on the adult experience with the disorder, combining practical information and moral support. it explains the diagnostic process and distinguishes additional symptoms from lapses memory, poor concentration, and impulsive behavior, and addresses: how to achieve balance by analyzing your own strengths and weaknesses, how to get along in groups, at work, and in intimate and family relationships, including how to reduce discord and chaos; mechanical aids and methods to organize and improve memory; and professional help, including medication and therapy.”
note from danielle: if you’re new here, you may not know that I was identified with autism as an adult, after my first child was diagnosed. many, many neurodivergent adults learn their identities quite late in life, after a child, friend, or family member is diagnosed. This book is a classic for explaining what ADHD is and isn’t, and offers many ideas about treatment options that are useful for both adults and children. Like the previous scatterbrain, it also offers a much-needed rethink; your “failures” don’t happen because you don’t try hard enough! you just don’t have the tools you need to be successful. . . yet.
9) The Out-Of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder by Carol Kranowitz
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“the out of sync child broke new ground by identifying sensory processing disorder, a common but frequently misdiagnosed problem in which the central nervous system misinterprets messages from the senses. this new revised edition presents additional information from recent research on visual and hearing impairments, motor skills problems, nutrition and picky eaters, adha, autism, and other related disorders.”
danielle’s note: Sensory Processing Disorder, also known as Sensory Integration Disorder, Sensory Overwhelm, or Sensory Overload, commonly co-occurs with ADHD, Addiction, Autism, and several other profiles neurodivergent. If your ADHD is easily overwhelmed by lights, sounds, or touch, is excessively clumsy, has trouble eating, or is constantly stimulated (ADHDs are stimulated too!), you may be dealing with sensory challenges. read this book and sensational kids below, and get an occupational therapist involved as soon as you can. We also have a brief explanation of spd here, with more resources for adults.
Although I haven’t had a chance to read this one yet, the same author has also written The Out of Sync Kid Has Fun: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder, and several friends have reported enjoying it. buy at bookstore or amazon.
10) sensational kids: hope and help for kids with sensory processing disorder (spd) lucy jane miller
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“Imagine, for a moment, that you are the parent of a child without a visible disability, but whose daily life experiences present constant challenges. What might be typical activities for most people: eating, dressing, doing friends, taking a spelling test, responding to a hug, are a struggle, often resulting in social, emotional, and academic problems.This is the bewildering and largely unknown world of sensory processing disorder, a complex brain disorder that affects one in twenty children dr lucy miller, the world’s best known spd researcher, is that voice: warm, clear and optimistic, dr miller identifies the disorder and its four main subtypes, provides information on evaluation and diagnosis, and suggests treatment options and strategies, including the importance of occupational therapy and parental involvement.”
note from danielle: along with the out of sync child above, this is the recommended book for parents supporting a child with sensory processing issues, and if you have adhd, you should probably also have a child with sensory processing issues.
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