Best Books About Manhood and Masculinity

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In all times and throughout the world, men have been very interested in the question of what it means to be a man. some of their responses were learned intuitively from observing peers and mentors, while other aspects of masculinity were intentionally and explicitly taught and imparted to them.

In primitive times, the “secret knowledge” of masculinity was passed down from elders to children in elaborate coming-of-age ceremonies.

You are reading: Books about being a man

In ancient times, philosophers contemplated the virtues and qualities that constituted the achievement of areté, a word meaning “excellence” and sometimes used interchangeably with andreia or “manliness.”

In our times, men undergo few initiation rites that impart knowledge, and the meaning of manhood is not often discussed by contemporary philosophers. Unfortunately, the chains of intuitive masculinity, the mentoring relationships that offer the opportunity to learn masculinity by example, are all too often severed or non-existent.

As a result, many men are unsure of what it means to be a man: how they are different from women, why they sometimes act the way they do, and what kinds of virtues and behaviors they need to cultivate in their lives to understand who they are, develop their potential, and live a fulfilling life.

I know that when I started with the art of masculinity in 2008, I only had a vague idea of exactly what masculinity meant. my ideas had mostly been picked up unconsciously from various streams of popular culture and absorbed without much examination.

Over the last 8 years, I have immersed myself fully in gaining an education on the meaning and nature of masculinity. I have read dozens of books on the biology, psychology, anthropology, and philosophy of masculinity, all seeking to develop a multifaceted answer to the big questions surrounding the male experience: what is masculinity, and where does it come from? Why do we associate aggression, risk-taking, and bravado with masculinity? How did past cultures take advantage of the traits of masculinity for good and not for bad?

Most of the books I’ve read on the subject were fine, but a few have done a masterful job of explaining the answers to these questions. Below you will find what I think are the best books for men. they have immensely influenced the way I approached the topic of masculinity on the site and have given me insight into my own life and place in the world. my series on honor, the 3 p’s of masculinity, and masculine status was based heavily on research from these books, and they are books i have returned to year after year, often rereading them only to find new insights. /p>

Some of the books focus on one aspect of masculinity, such as the evolutionary origins of male physical and psychological traits or how men behave in groups, while others take a general approach to seeing masculinity as an imperative culture or a set of virtues I do not agree with all the conclusions that most authors draw. and that’s fine it’s good to have your ideas challenged and it’s still possible to get something out of a book even if you don’t end up according to the author’s final thesis.

In a time when ideas about masculinity are often confused or contradictory, if discussed at all, these books give you insights into history, culture, and a greater understanding of who you are; they will help you discover a “secret knowledge” that has been largely lost in recent decades. If you want to broaden your understanding of what it means to be a man, read these books.

the way of men

possibly the modern classic on masculinity. jack donovan works to strip away all relative cultural/religious definitions of masculinity out there to get to the heart of what makes men men. he calls these essentials the “tactical virtues” and they include: strength, courage, mastery, and honor.

while the amoral nature of donovan’s idea of masculinity may make some uncomfortable, that is, in many ways, his greatest strength. whenever my thinking about masculinity gets confused by all the competing definitions and claims out there, I go back to the men’s path to reacquaint myself with the very core of masculinity. it is a short and accessible book, with a concise and muscular prose; there really is no reason why all men shouldn’t read it and consider its forceful and challenging ideas. Once you do, you can either take Donovan’s vision of the foundation of masculinity and stop there, or you can add a moral/philosophical layer to it. for that task, I would recommend the following book.

listen to my podcast interview with jack donovan.

the code of man: love, courage, pride, family, country

if the path of man is the book on the biological/anthropological nature of masculinity, the code of man is the book on the philosophical view of masculinity.

in the code of man, dr. Waller R. Newell argues that modern men have lost touch with the values and virtues that have defined masculinity for thousands of years. Consequently, many men (particularly young men) are lost, confused, and angry. newell believes that the road to recovery is along the five paths to manhood: love, courage, pride, family, and country. Using Western writers and thinkers such as Aristotle and Plato, Newell attempts to guide men on the path to achieving a “manly heart.”

newell’s idea of honorable and virtuous manhood aligns almost perfectly with the conception of manhood that we espouse at aom. in fact, I have reread this book several times since my initial reading a few years ago and still find it just as moving and relevant as the first time I read it.

masculinity in process: cultural concepts of masculinity

If you enjoyed our 3 P’s of Masculinity series, you’ll want to read the book that inspired it. Budding Manhood is by far the most insightful book on manhood I have ever read. In it, anthropologist David Gilmore shares the results of his cross-cultural study of masculinity around the world. Gilmore discovered that the preoccupation with being manly and the idea of being a “real man” is not a culturally relative phenomenon based on social norms, but rather has been shared by almost every culture in the world, both past and present. .

While each society’s idea of what constitutes a “real man” has been shaped by its unique histories, environments, and dominant religious beliefs, Gilmore found that nearly all share three common imperatives, or moral mandates, which I call 3 p.m. of virility: a male who aspires to be a man must protect, procreate and provide.

despite being an academic book, manhood in the making is quite an easy and enjoyable read. I couldn’t put it down after I turned it on and several times I could feel a real lightbulb go on above my head.

is there something good in men? how cultures flourish exploiting men

Is There Anything Good in Men? Eminent Professor of Psychology Roy F. Baumeister turns the feminist argument on its head that only women have been oppressed and exploited since the beginning of time. Baumeister argues that, in many ways, men are the ones that society “exploits” (even if they willingly accept their responsibilities). he explores the fact that throughout history men have been seen as much more expendable than women; they are the ones who went to war, took the dirty jobs, and sacrificed their lives to advance civilization.

It may seem like a controversial thesis to some, but Baumeister makes it very sensible, direct, non-incendiary, and ultimately difficult to argue with. he uses studies from the growing fields of evolutionary psychology and sociobiology to explain why cultures have exploited men the way they have. and explains how and why certain aspects of male and female behavior are integrated and that these differences should be used to complement each other rather than as fodder in gender wars.

listen to my podcast interview with dr. roy r. baumeister.

men in groups

You’ve probably heard the phrase “male bonding.” well, this is the book from which it originated. In Men in Groups, anthropologist Lionel Tigre takes a look at the ingrained male propensity to form and act in gangs. Looking at primatology, sociobiology, and anthropology, Tigre highlights the fact that human males are highly adept at forming all-male coalitions to dominate something, be it a competing tribe, a competing business, or even nature itself. he argues that this tendency for human males to organize into all-male coalitions is an evolved trait; Similar patterns of male aggregation are seen in our closest primate relative, the chimpanzee. he goes on to describe how in all cultures, men often bond with each other through competition with each other and that this intragroup competition can be a way to prepare for intergroup competition with other teams/gangs.

men in groups was written in 1969, so much of the research it contains is old and out of date. Even so, the main thesis of the book is still relevant today, and many modern sociologists and anthropologists have built on the early work done by tigre.

Be sure to also check out tiger’s the decline of males for an interesting treatise on how the advent of birth control has impacted modern masculinity.

listen to my podcast interview with dr. lion tiger.

plato and the hero: courage, virility and the impersonal good

the teacher in the cage: why men fight and why we like to watch

Research shows that men are drawn to violence, whether it be criminal or sporting. Why is that? In The Professor in the Cage, English teacher Jonathan Gottschall takes us on a personal, interdisciplinary journey to answer that question.

Using his experience training to be an MMA fighter, as well as researching biology, anthropology, and sociology, Gottschall argues that men are made and conditioned to fight. we have a fighting spirit within us that can be used for good or ill simply depending on how this energy is directed. gottschall does a great job of weaving all the research into masculinity and the male fighting instinct into one accessible, illuminating, and entertaining read. If he enjoyed our series on honor and masculinity, he will surely get a lot out of this book.

listen to my podcast interview with jonathan gottschall.

the poetics of masculinity: competition and identity in a Cretan mountain village

While many of the books on this list focus on broad, general examinations of masculinity, The Poetics of Masculinity brings the discussion down to earth and into the details. During the 1960s, anthropologist Michael Herzfeld lived among the people who inhabited a small mountain village on the island of Crete, observing their culture of masculinity. The resulting field study Herzfeld wrote isn’t always the clearest or easiest to read, but the book is packed with interesting facts about the nature of lived masculinity, with insights into why men are attracted to flesh, risk, competition and improvisation. this is the book where the idea of ”being a good man vs. being good at being a man” originates, although the Cretans used it in a slightly different way than it is understood in the modern manosphere.

the hunting hypothesis

In The Hunting Hypothesis, playwright and paleoanthropologist Robert Ardrey eloquently argues that hunting is what made humans, humans. Meat from hunting not only increased the brain size of our early human ancestors, but hunting acted as a method of selection for traits we think of as uniquely human. Ardrey argues that speech, cooperation in large groups, abstract thought, and tool making may all have their origins in hunting. furthermore, he argues that men in particular were selected to hunt because of their greater stature, strength, and propensity to take risks. Although Ardrey’s theory was originally controversial when it was first published in 1976, it is now accepted by many anthropologists, evolutionary biologists, and psychologists.

My favorite thing about this book is how absolutely fun it is to read. Ardrey’s talent as a playwright and screenwriter shines through in his work and he is able to take complex ideas like paleoanthropology and make them accessible to the layman.

another book by ardrey to consult that is tangentially related to the hunting hypothesis is the territorial imperative. in that book he takes a look at the human drive toward territoriality and the implications it has for property and nation-building. It doesn’t really get into the topic of gender differences or why men are the way the hunting hypothesis does, but it’s still a fascinating and worthwhile read.

heroes, rogues & lovers: testosterone and behavior

We all know that testosterone is what makes men (generally) stronger and more aggressive than women, but how does this hormone affect other areas of a man’s life? in heroes, rogues, & Lovers: Testosterone and Behavior, Cognitive Psychologist James M. Dabbs (along with his wife Mary) highlights research showing testosterone’s effect on behavior in the workplace, at school, in the bedroom, and even in the womb. This is one of the most fascinating and engaging books I have ever read. no other book deals with the effect of testosterone on human behavior like this one. if you want a fuller understanding of why men behave the way they do, pick up a copy.

fight for life: contest, sexuality and conscience

walter j. ong was a Jesuit priest who spent his career as an academic studying and writing about how humanity’s transition from an oral to a written culture changed human consciousness. In The Struggle For Life, NGO looks at how competition, particularly male competition, has shaped human consciousness. He focuses on how the male drive for competition influenced philosophers and scholars from ancient Greece to the Enlightenment to create a learning environment that was agonistic and competitive. NGO argues that after the romantic era, education became much more “feminized” and an emphasis on cooperation rather than competition began to invade classrooms. The Struggle for Life was originally published in 1981, but the researchers later confirmed their ideas and explored how boys and girls learn differently. For example, check out Boys Adrift by Dr. Leonard Sax, which highlights research showing that children thrive academically when there is an element of competition in the classroom.

Roman honor: the fire in the bones

In 2012, we published a series on the history and decline of traditional male honor in the West. I thought I’d turned every stone when researching those posts, but a few months after finishing the series, I came across the Roman Honor: Fire in the Bones by Carlin Barton, professor of ancient history at the University of Massachusetts. I wish I had known about this book when I was researching and writing my honor series. Roman Honor is the best book I’ve ever read on honor, bar none. Barton masterfully explores how honor shaped life in ancient Rome from the earliest days of the republic to the fall of the empire. she shows how small, intimate groups are vital for honor to survive and how imperialism kills it. This book is a difficult read, but it is worth the effort. the ideas are so brilliant as to be almost surprising, and even the footnotes are full of fascinating asides.

listen to my podcast interview with dr. carlin barton.

manvotionals: timeless wisdom and tips for living the 7 masculine virtues

I promise this isn’t a shameless plugin (at least not entirely!); manvotionals is an anthology of letters, speeches, quotes, etc., from eminent men in history, so I can’t take credit for the wisdom it contains! I can only say that putting this collection together really helped refine my vision and understanding of what I consider to be the 7 Manly Virtues: Masculinity (it’s a distinct virtue in itself), Courage, Industriousness, Resolve, Self-Reliance, Discipline, and Honor (Integrity). this is my favorite book we’ve ever published, and I still come back to it personally to reinvigorate my vision and aspire to become the kind of man I want to be: someone who maximizes his full potential in body, mind, and soul, effectively uses his abilities to accomplish your life’s purposes and overcome setbacks and challenges to make a difference and leave a real and lasting legacy.

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