It amazes me how often we take books for granted.
Literally, the answer to any question or the solution to any problem can be found in a book with very few exceptions.
You are reading: Books to read after a breakup for guys
And if you’re reading this, I’m willing to assume you have a problem you need to solve.
Maybe you’re trying to get over the ex-girlfriend who dumped you.
maybe you’re trying to get it back.
maybe you’re wondering where to go from here?
Or maybe you’re just looking for hope for the future.
About 5 years ago, I was in your shoes right after being down after the worst breakup of my life. As a voracious reader, I certainly didn’t have all the answers at the time. but I knew what he did.
And now I’m sure you can guess where I’m headed!
I searched for the best breakup books for guys.
but I was disappointed with what I initially found. all of these books dealing with heartbreak and overcoming were written for women.
worse yet, those who weren’t really had nothing new to add, except the honor of time, the honey-soaked nonsense that is “give it time”.
fuck that. I am a patient person, but I was not going to wait.
so I decided to expand. I spent about 6 months reading every personal development book I could get my hands on.
I thought I could take lessons from each one that would help ease the anguish I was feeling.
everything from plato’s the republic & Machiavelli’s Prince to David Ogilvy in Advertising & Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power made it to my library.
and guess what?
In those 6 months, I went from being devastated by my breakup to realizing that it was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my life up to that point.
I then used that motivation to launch my career as a marketing manager, start several small businesses, date numerous beautiful women at the same time, and enjoy the best period of prosperity I have ever experienced.
all because I decided to buy some books.
but this is about you, not me. So without further ado, here are the 7 best books to read after a breakup for you guys.
again, none of these will be traditional “self-help” relationship books, because most of them are a modified version of the same old crap.
1: ultimate achievement, by brian tracy
The first time I finished the ultimate achievement, I started to cry.
I’m serious.
and no, they weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of joy.
I felt free. Free from the pain, jealousy and pain I felt.
It was a life changing experience and I still remember it vividly because of how powerful it was.
I consider this book to be required reading for any man, whether he’s going through a breakup or not. If I had to choose one book that was responsible for all of my personal and professional success, it would be Ultimate Achievement.
While not a dating book by any means, many of the principles laid out in Peak Achievement have helped me create incredible abundance in my love life.
It made me realize that the life I had always dreamed of was not only possible, but probable if I set things in motion.
Don’t think twice. get it, read it 5-10 times and thank me later.
2: how i found freedom in a world without freedom, by harry browne
Whether you identify as liberal or conservative, this book is going to shake your jimmies up real good, like the friendly priest in Sunday school.
but that’s exactly why you need to read it.
Whether you realize it or not, most of the pain you are experiencing right now is not due to what is happening to you.
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pain is caused by how you are managing it or, in many cases, how you are not managing it.
brown argues that almost all pain can be fixed if you’re willing to pay the price. that includes financial, spiritual, and relationship pains.
None of the advice in this book is groundbreaking, and you’ve probably heard some of it before. But, in my opinion, no source has put it as eloquently as Harry Browne.
This book changed my life completely. not only did it open my eyes to how good freedom feels, but it taught me to approach pain as something you can work through, if you’re willing to pay the price.
While the ultimate achievement may have been what set me free, the way I found freedom in a world without freedom was what kept me free.
3: meditations, by Marcus Aurelius
Now let’s go back a couple of thousand years and add some serious western philosophy to this discussion.
At first glance, the personal writings of a Roman emperor who died nearly 2,000 years ago may not seem very helpful in dealing with a breakup.
That’s what I thought too when I first started meditating.
but when I finished it, I realized that it was completely out of place.
Just as I found freedom in a world without freedom, the meditations focus on the many pains we suffer at the hands of our surroundings and others.
and just as harry browne offers a solution, so does marcus aurelius.
and the solution is as simple as eloquent: our pain is not caused by what happens to us. it is caused by how we react to it.
the most attractive trait for women is the independence of the results. the true result of independence has a gravity that attracts women en masse.
If you want an independence of magnetic results that will make women jump on you, reading meditations will take you there. in my opinion, a 2000 year old roman emperor taught me more about having sex than any modern gaming “guru”.
Not bad for a man who never remarried after his wife died.
4: extreme property, by jocko willink & leif babin
jocko willink & leif babin are two bad sons of bitches.
Seriously, Jocko looks like he’s been chiseled out of unyielding granite, and Leif has eyes that shoot bullets at you.
I first picked up this book while in New York City on my way back to the hotel after a long work conference.
Less than 4 hours later, I found myself staring at the red numbers on the crappy hotel alarm clock.
It was almost 2 a.m. m. and he had just read the extreme property from cover to cover.
When I caught my flight home a day later, I had read it 3 times.
Ironically, the conference my company paid handsomely for me to attend taught me less than I had learned in 3 cover-to-cover readings of extreme property, which cost me around $30.
This event included many of the world’s leaders in marketing (think Google, Amazon, Apple, etc.).
I didn’t mention that in my report, mind you.
If you’re struggling to control yourself and have drama-free relationships with friends, family, and women, you need this book.
just be prepared to start waking up at 4am and saying “fine” all the time.
5: the 7 habits of highly effective people, by steven covey
start with the end in mind.
yeah, you’ve probably heard that before.
It is the second of the 7 “habits” that steven covey teaches, but in my opinion it is the most important. when you’re going through a bad breakup, it can feel like the world is ending.
shit, I know he did it for me.
The key to surviving a bad breakup is to get out of yourself and remember that you still have a lot of life left to live.
And guess what the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People do?
helps you refocus on that virtue.
While Peak Achievement showed me that creating the life I wanted was possible, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was the book that showed me how to make it possible.
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By starting with the end in mind, I was able to work backwards and figure out what steps I needed to take to get there.
and guess what? building that life for myself took away all the pain I felt from my breakup.
6: words that work, by dr. frank luntz
Think about the last time you talked to your ex-girlfriend.
You definitely said some things that made sense to you that she didn’t seem to understand.
and the reverse was probably true for her as well.
I know there were things he said to you that left you scratching your head.
so what?
according to dr. frank luntz, it’s not what you say, it’s what other people hear.
Imagine for a second that you could tell your ex girlfriend exactly how you feel about her.
Imagine how she would react if she perfectly understood every word you said, just like you do.
Or imagine if you could approach a beautiful woman and effortlessly make her agree to a date with you.
Guess what working words it teaches you how to do?
words that work teaches you to express your point of view in a way that people understand. It has helped me deepen my relationships, because relationships are about communication.
You’ll also learn a thing or two about effective marketing, because what is marketing but good communication?
When you date again, you’ll be glad you read this book.
7: the turning point, by malcolm gladwell & made to glue, by chip & give heather
Before you start criticizing me for having two books in one, listen to me.
Although these books have different authors who did not work together, they both discuss half of a whole idea.
For example, have you ever heard that criminal gangs drug people and steal their kidneys?
If so, I have good news for you. For one thing, your kidneys are not at risk of being stolen. this “idea” is a myth.
but it has spread faster than the applause in a las vegas strip club.
And unlike the applause, it’s actually stuck with people.
While words that work are all about being understood, these two books address how to make those very words unforgettable.
The concepts you can learn from these two books make dating easy. you will be able to communicate your ideas in a way that will stick to the women you are dating like glue.
Better yet, if you’re trying to win your ex girlfriend back, the principles in these books will help you convince her over time that you’re a different man.
Convince her that you’re a different man and that you’re much more likely to keep her forever.
I would start by reading the breakpoint first and then make it stick second. made to stick expands on the ideas of the turning point.
bonus: the turning point by meg jay, phd
Let me start by saying that this book is really for the young people here, specifically those under 30.
If you are 20 years old right now and you don’t have a plan for the direction of your life, you should read this book.
Your 20s are the most important time of your life. ask any guy over 40 and they’ll tell you the same thing.
This book is about making the most of your 20s, both personally and professionally.
While I don’t agree with everything, the general message of urgency Meg Jay emphasizes is refreshingly welcome. you will feel the same way once you read it.
so read it. don’t waste your 20 and end up regretting it.
talk soon my friend,
bus
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