Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside youAre not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,Must ask permission to know it and be known.The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,I have made this place around you.If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.No two trees are the same to Raven.No two branches are the same to Wren.If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knowsWhere you are. You must let it find you.
Sometimes life is clear: you know exactly where you’re headed and what path you’re on. but often it’s not that simple.
You are reading: Books to read when you feel lost
You may feel like you’re not where you want to be in your career, find yourself frozen in place, or realize you’re stuck in a rut.
During these times, you may even lose sight of the one thing you thought you knew: yourself. and with that, what you used to enjoy and aspire to.
but, as always, everything you feel can usually also be found in a book somewhere. here are some of my favorite book recommendations for when you feel lost and don’t know where to go next.
8 books to read when you feel lost in life
great circle by maggie shipstead
I read the big circle right at the end of 2021 and was blown away. I’ve been at a fork in the road with my work, trying to steer more in the direction of my creative projects and away from the latest consulting work I’m doing. I’ve been gradually drifting into this position over the past few years, but lately I’ve felt the need to jump in and figure it out later.
If there was a version of me that knew exactly what she wanted and had the guts to go for it, I’d be like marion in a big circle. I loved this description of her:
“She couldn’t understand that others didn’t see her for what she would become, that she didn’t wear the fact of her future as a flashy garment. her belief that she would fly saturated her world, she presented a semblance of absolute truth.”
It’s not just Marion grappling with who she wants to be in this novel. his brother tells his uncle: “you’re supposed to be a painter”, to which he replies “I lost my ability”. her brother’s reply: “no, […] you just have to go out to the mountain like before.”
This book asks that powerful question in many ways: what do you need to do like before?
the memoirs of stockholm sven by nathaniel ian miller
The Arctic is one of my best happy places, so as soon as I heard about this book, I knew I had to read it. is the story of sven, a man who leaves a restless life in stockholm for a lonely life in the arctic circle, where he is saved by good friends, a loyal dog, and a surprise visitor that changes everything.
at one point early in the book, sven laments:
“Since childhood I had envied those who knew for sure what course they wanted their lives to take. I did not know. I’ve never known.”
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This is the advice you get, which I wrote down and have come back to several times since reading it:
“for now, take stock of yourself. this is the opportunity you spoke of so long ago. listen to the voice that speaks when everyone else is silent. to be alone—to be completely alone. I’m not saying you’re going to find anything of value there, certainly no cosmic truth, but maybe you’ll start to feel as small and efficient and clean as a freshly whittled stick.”
war and peace by leo tolstoy
I shared many years ago that War and Peace is a fantastic book to read when you’re stuck in a rut. here’s a section I still love:
“‘it seems strange,’ said pierre, ‘that you consider yourself a failure and your life ruined. you have your whole life ahead of you, everything. and you…’
He didn’t say what about you, but his tone showed how much he admired his friend and how much he expected of him in the future.”
timeless simplicity: creative living in a consumer society by john lane
If there’s something you know you want to do but don’t have the guts yet, timeless simplicity has some unexpected bits of wisdom. On the surface it’s a guide to seeking more simplicity in your life, but underneath is plenty of honest advice on how to make your life your own.
“And if you don’t take the break now, when will you do it? change is hard, but it can be done, and millions have done it before you – millions who have found a way to live the kind of life they want to live and work the way they want to work.”
maybe in another life by taylor jenkins reid
Maybe In Another Life is one of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s lesser-known novels, unlike The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo or Daisy Jones & the six. But it is perhaps the best book of hers to read when you feel lost in life, just like the twenty-nine-year-old protagonist, Hannah Martin.
After a failed relationship and with no job or home to support her, she returns to Los Angeles, where she once again finds herself at a crossroads. After meeting an old flame, we see in alternating chapters two possible scenarios unfold, with very different results.
“You don’t need to find the perfect thing all the time. just find one that works and go with it.”
keep it moving: lessons for the rest of your life by twyla tharp
I’ve loved twyla tharp’s writing (and pretty much everything about it, really) ever since I first read Creative Habit: Learn It & Use It For Life at least a decade ago. this is her fourth book, in which she shares her wisdom on how to keep moving as you age.
Seventy-seven years old when this book was published, Twyla Tharp is revered not only for the dances she does as one of the world’s foremost choreographers, but also for her amazing routines and vitality. she still takes a cab at dawn, goes to the gym and uses that energy to propel her through her commitments. this book answers how.
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in twyla’s own words: “this book is a collection of what i’ve learned over the past fifty-five years: from the time i became engaged in dance to today…it identifies a ‘disease’ and offers a cure. that disease, in a nutshell, is our fear of the passage of time and the resulting aging process. the remedy? this book in your hands.”
“Your goal is to free yourself to be whatever and whoever you need to be right now.”
the sun is a compass by caroline van hemert
A blatantly obvious addition to this list would be Savage: A Journey From Lost to Found by Cheryl Strayed. and yes, it is a wonderfully relevant book to read when you feel lost and directionless. but i wanted to share something further off the beaten path so to speak, in this case deep in alaska.
The Sun is a Compass is Caroline Van Hemert’s memoir of the 4,000-mile human-powered journey she undertook with her partner, Pat, when she was unsure whether to remain in academia or pursue other vocations. It’s an awesome book that I’ve mentioned a lot before, here and on live wildly, but it’s been one of the rare books that really speaks to where I’m at and hope to go next.
“I tried to explain that escapism was not our goal: neither of us was running from a broken marriage, drug addiction, or academic failure. we weren’t trying to set a record or achieve a first. we were just trying to find our way home.”
other honorable mentions:
matt haig’s midnight library: the beloved book of the quarantine era, this is matt haig’s imagination of the countless different directions a life can take.
my year of rest and relaxation by ottessa moshfegh, a novel about a young woman’s efforts to dodge the world’s ills by embarking on prolonged hibernation with the help of one of the worst psychiatrists in the annals of literature, and an amazing combination of drugs.
To the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s True Story of the Magic of Mindfulness and Life-Changing Compassion by James Doty: An Amazing Exploration of the Ways We Can Transform Our Minds When We Pay More Attention to our thoughts.
Sally Rooney Conversations With Friends: If you want to read about some pretty aimless characters finding their way, Sally Rooney’s writing is the perfect place to start.
i found my tribe by ruth fitzmaurice – a celebration of the delights of wild swimming and the community you can gain along with it, centered here in an irish town in the country. wicker.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman – One of my favorite books of 2021, this is a fantastic reminder to reevaluate the real meaning of time management and spend our time on what really matters to us.
retreat to sanctuary & enjoy seven days to reboot
Do you love books, feel a bit lost at the moment and are looking for some comfort and guidance? I made the shrine exactly for this.
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