chicken soup for the soul 20th anniversary edition
all your favorite original stories plus 20 bonus stories for the next 20 years
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about love
The day will come when, after taking advantage of space, the winds, the tides and gravitation, we will take advantage of the energies of love for God. and on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire. ~teilhard de chardin
You are reading: Chicken soup books barnes and noble
my soulmate
love must be both a light and a flame. ~henry david thoreau
I am more than a happily married man. I am a happily married man. not everyone can say that. what my wife crystal and i have is what i call a “twin flame relationship”. we rarely hear about these relationships, because they are rare, ideal and private. they seem unreal to most people who only experience them as a dream that is written about in romance novels.
twin flames reflect positively and correctly, they are in divine and exquisite harmony constantly and without ceasing. together they experience and express a delicious and divine destiny. they want to be, do, and have as much for their partner as they want to be, do, and have for themselves. they think alike in many ways, but they are strong where the other is weak and weak where they need each other’s strength.
the twin flame relationship is one in which their individual qualities complement and complete their circle of love. it is not a relationship of competition or degradation to occupy fair positions in front of the other, but to affirm oneself with kindness, compassion, absolute love and tenderness. And just as when the flames of two candles merge, twin flames understand that it is in this way that their individual flame merges with the other and becomes not only twice as bright, but infinitely brighter.
crystal and I find great joy in fully participating in our relationship. we understand that our relationship is the rock on which our lives function and flow so naturally; becomes paramount for business, friends, family, church, or any outside offering.
As a co-creator of the legendary Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, a super-busy professional speaker, and TV personality, the question I get asked the most is, “How did you find such a a perfect soul mate? The question that is not asked more often is: “How can I do it too? You two seem to be in perfect love, outrageous joy, inexplicable friendship and live in cooperative harmony. How can you do this and be together 24 / 7 365 days a year?”
Because this delightful question is repeated so often, I choose to answer it openly and fully. it is my hope that this will serve to expand your love, think, be and become a soul mate from the inside out. if you are seeking to become a complete soulmate or are searching for a soulmate, may this inspire hope that it is entirely possible to do so. The initial idea that I must impart clearly is that you first have to become exactly what you are looking for.
In our twin flame relationship, we understand that together we create today, tomorrow and our future. we do this by maintaining a space that is free from the emotional baggage of the past. Because life and emotional triggers keep happening, we spend the first hour of our morning in prayer and meditation together. we dream about how we want to share the rest of our lives together and how we will maximize our life experience and our love.
so the question is: ‘how did I get here?’ I saw my parents having agreements and disagreements, but most of all, they loved and cared for their children and each other. they put the family unit and its relationship above the frays and vicissitudes of our life experience. I thought that was what happened in all marriages. they worked as a partnership and resolved their differences in a kind and thoughtful manner.
My first marriage experience was something very different. Although my ex-wife was an important part of my life for many years, over time the relationship became contentious, complicated and contentious. after 27 years of giving everything he had to give, he knew he had to end the marriage. I felt that I had partially lost the essence of who she was and that what was left would vanish if I stayed. I filed for divorce.
Even with dozens of friends and admirers around me all the time, I felt scared and lonely not to be in a marriage anymore. I realized that being married to my soulmate had been my top priority all my life, which is why I clung to a dysfunctional marriage for so long. somehow I thought I could turn it around.
as I pondered where to start again, battling mild depression over what seemed like a heartbreaking loss, I thought again that god had painted on my heart a long time ago, that my soul mate was still out there somewhere, and I I would find her. I began to dream a new dream of what perfection would be like, even if it only existed in the secret places of my own mind.
In many of my books and teachings over the years, I’ve taught manifestation principles: Find out exactly what you want…write it down with specificity…envision it to do it…etc. .
so I did exactly that! I sat down and wrote down 267 things I wished for in my future soulmate. I shared them in confidence with only two of my intellectual partners, because they seemed bordering on the impossible. I saved my list safely.
Shortly after that, I was speaking at an aspiring author conference in Los Angeles. from the stage I clearly saw the radiant spirit of a woman in the midst of the audience. she was so attracted by what i saw. she left a dynamic, lasting and irresistible first impression. that was the good news. the bad news was that she was sitting next to a boy. later, after the lunch break, she was again before my eyes as a conspicuous human presence, only this time she was alone. my soul rejoiced. I asked someone about her and they told me that she was also divorced and single and that her name was crystal.
During the afternoon VIP reception, people surrounded me from my conference and asked me endless questions. I saw glass across the room. To my utter delight, another attendee waved his hands wildly and inadvertently knocked over a full glass of red wine, drenching the white pants with crystal.
I quickly ran out of the circle of fans around me and ran to his side, immediately offering to save his pants soaked with sparkling mineral water from a nearby hotel kitchen. Fortunately, he knew the hotel because he had spoken there dozens of times. Finally! I’d had my moment alone with her.
After solving his stained pants problem, I asked him if he had dinner. she didn’t have I politely asked her to join me, with the caveat that we had to leave the venue because hundreds of attendees wouldn’t let us speak in private. she agreed and we went to a great restaurant in hollywood.
When we arrived, there was a long line waiting. We went to the front of the line. the maître d’ ignored me and mumbled “who is she?”
I replied: “Don’t you know her?”
“I’m not sure.”
jokingly, I said: “the queen of denmark”.
“really?”
I raised my eyebrows.
“okay, so who are you?”
my answer would determine whether or not we have a table. So, in the spirit of creating a worthwhile memory, I said, “Who’s traveling with the queen?”
He thought for a minute and blurted out: “the king… you’re not…”
I smiled, nodded, and we proceeded to get the best private table in the place.
Happily sitting, we laugh together at what just happened! time disappeared as each of us unfolded our entire lives before the other. our hearts and souls seemed to sync up in a way none of us had ever felt. It was a completely new experience for both of us. The mere fact of being together tingled us. we were in bliss. Three years later, under the majestic red rocks of Sedona, Arizona, we were happily married.
About six months into my married bliss, I was cleaning out my computer desk and came across a document called “soulmate goals.” It tickled me because I wanted to see how close I was to the characteristics, virtues, and qualities that I had longed for in a soulmate.
As I read them, I was amazed. I realized that God had manifested my dreams and beyond for my perfect life partner. crystal was literally everything i expected and more. I believe my dreams and prayers were heard and answered.
Here I share 112 of those original soulmate qualities I wrote down. I only share them with you to inspire you to achieve the same or more. If you are already married, I recommend that you write down everything imaginable that you want in your ideal relationship and see how close you are to being that person you dream of. perhaps, as you both write your own journey towards soul union, later, you will feel open to share, compare and love each other more and more. Often when people are dissatisfied in marriage it is because they are not clearly communicating their most important needs and truths.
my recommendation is that you generate your own complete list. my list is for inspiration and release purposes only. Remember, what you want wants you. most importantly, you have to live up to and personally exceed everything you ask of another. When I made my list, I knew, with the help of my intellectual partners, that I needed to become more of the things I wanted, and I set to work on myself to achieve it.
The question you should always ask yourself when addressing your own wants and needs is, “Who do I need to be to attract this woman/man? Do I and will I demonstrate these attributes myself?”
mark the wishes of your future soulmate:
1. available
2. master kisser/lovingly tactile
3. similar values
4. has great personal strength
5. easy to use
6. elegant
7. smart
8. conservative personality
9. great lover
10. adventure
11. live like this cal or willing to move here or we agree on another place
12. well traveled and willing to travel
13. He totally loves me and it shows
14. working on self mastery and spiritual mastery
15. he likes my business
16. beautiful and takes care
17. we become each other’s number one priority
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18. excited and enthusiastic about life and living
19. vitally healthy, health oriented
20. towards personal growth and self-development
21. happy
22. slim and radiant
23. He has a great personality
24. excellent conversationalist
25. wise
26. witty
27. wonderful
28. imaginative
29. magnanimous
30. philanthropic before it appeared
31. fun to be with
32. a smile
33. clean, tidy and naturally smells good
34. always inspire more love
35. cooperative
36. financially smart
37. who spends less: lives below their means
38. has created some of its own media
39. knows itself
40. flexible
41. thanks and social practices
42. he wants us to entertain and be entertained
43. playful and adventurous
44. he loves to dance
45. think abundantly
46. wants to create superior memories
47. we can talk forever through the decades
48. live in ideas
49. wants to make the world work
50. is passionately on purpose
51. sophisticated
52. we have a deep and growing soulular connection
53. we are soulmates
54. loves to exercise, stretch and work on his strength, health, flexibility, aerobics and balance every day
55. wants to see the world
56. nourishing spirit
57. has deep spiritual practices
58. meditate
59. creative
60. non-smoker
61. no alcohol
62. not a drug user
63. charitable
64. has a great tag
65. is pro organic food and healthy eating
66. my friends love and enjoy her personality and are delighted to be with her
67. she loves my family, children and grandchildren, and our children get along, if hers exist
68. culturally, politically, financially, socially, emotionally and spiritually aware
69. I can fully feel his love for me
70. you have your own businesses, products and services to create
71. my staff loves, enjoys, respects, admires and appreciates her
72. my career is the second after her
73. she helps me to know and expand my love
74. we share similar tastes in almost everything
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75. energetic and enthusiastic
76. healthy
77. fresh, spring
78. young mentality and always think young
79. tidy, clean
80. original rich mindset
81. loves me in all my dimensions
82. disciplines
83. not jealous
84. monogamous
85. lovely
86. look for the good
87. irresistibly cheerful
88. sacred experiences
89. bright eyes
90. eager to learn forever
91. wants to serve
92. positive mental attitude
93. socially skillful
94. extraordinary
95. proud to be with me and vice versa
96. great sense of design personally, professionally, for the interior of the house, etc.
97. large dresser
98. beautiful to behold
99. live with tranquility, grace and spiritual dignity
100. adoring
101. we give ourselves totally and completely to each other
102. work on your own well-being
103. has mutually agreed limits
104. he truly becomes my closest and best friend
105. loyalty
106. trust
107. fidelity
108. integrity
109. honesty
110. compassion
111. passion
112. integrated
now you have seen the clear intention i wrote about before i met crystal. in the secret place inside my mind, I knew that she had to exist and be alive somewhere or I couldn’t have had such a clear and determined vision of her. I knew that she had to be alive and that with every breath she took, she drew me closer and closer.
~mark victor hansen
the spirit of love
everything in the universe is within you. ask all of yourself. ~rumi
In the West, what we generally call love is primarily a feeling, not a power. this feeling can be delightful, even ecstatic, but there are many things that love must do that feelings cannot.
When love and spirit unite, their power can accomplish anything. then love, power and spirit are one.
there has never been a spiritual teacher, not buddha, not krishna, not christ, not mohammed, who was not a messenger of love, and the power of the message has always been impressive: it has changed the world. perhaps the sheer immensity of such teachers has made the rest of us reticent. we do not accept the power that love can create within us and therefore turn our backs on our divine status.
love is spirit. the spirit is the self.
the self and the spirit are the same. asking “what is spirit?” it’s just a way of asking “who am I?” there is no spirit outside of you; you are, why are you not aware of it? you are, but only in a limited way, like someone who has seen a glass of water but not the ocean. your eyes see because in spirit you are a witness of everything. you have thoughts because in spirit you know everything. you feel love towards another person because in spirit you are infinite love.
Restoring the spiritual dimension of love means abandoning the notion of a limited self with its limited capacity to love and recovering the self with its unlimited capacity to love. the “me” that is truly you is made of pure awareness, pure creativity, pure spirit. his version of love is free from any memory or image of the past. beyond all illusion is the source of love, a field of pure potentiality.
that potential is you.
what is the way?
The most valuable thing you can bring to any relationship is your spiritual potential. this is what you have to offer when you start to live your love story at the deepest level. Like the seed necessary to start the life of a tree, its spiritual potential is the seed for its growth in love. nothing is more precious. seeing yourself with the eyes of love makes it natural to see others that way too. you can say about your loved one, as the rumi poet does:
you are the secret of god’s secret.
You are the mirror of divine beauty.
The path to love is something you consciously choose to follow, and everyone who has fallen in love is shown the first step on that path. The development of spiritual potential has been the main concern of all the great seers, saints, prophets, teachers and sages of human history. theirs was a carefully plotted search for self, a far cry from our notion of love as a messy, emotional affair.
in india, the spiritual path is called sadhana, and although a small minority of people leave normal life to wander the world as seekers of enlightenment (these are monks or sadhus), everyone from the oldest civilization From Vedic India to today, he considers his life to be sadhana, a path to self. Although the self appears separate from us, it is actually intertwined in everything a person thinks, feels, or does. the fact that you do not know your intimately
I myself is amazing, if you think about it. seeking yourself, the Vedic sages declared, is like a thirsty fish seeking water. but as long as the self has not yet been found, there is sadhana.
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