It’s always difficult to accept and come to terms with when we lose our beloved pets, whether expected or unexpected.
For children, who often don’t have the vocabulary to express everything they’re feeling, or may not fully understand the strong emotions they’re feeling, grief can be even more difficult and can cause behavior change.
You are reading: Childrens books about the death of a pet
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For parents, explaining the complexity of death and the many emotions that come with it can be difficult. Your own grief can make it even more difficult for you to think of kind ways to explain death and all that comes with it.
Books can be a great resource to help parents explain a subject that is difficult to explain and for children to learn to overcome their emotions after loss.
Below, I’ve outlined what I think are the 14 best children’s books about pet loss to read to your children during these sad times.
sammy in the sky, by barbara walsh
I love this book. Of all the books I’m reviewing in this post, this is my favorite…
sammy in the sky is the beautiful story of a girl who loved sammy, her hunting dog. the couple did everything together. But when Sammy turns 12, the family finds a lump on the dog’s neck. Over time, the dog became seriously ill until one day he died.
The girl and her sister are very sad. the little sister even wants her daddy to get a ladder and get the dog down from the sky. but no ladder is high enough to get the dog out.
As summer draws to a close, the little girl’s grief changes and although she still misses her best friend dearly, she can now think of him and laugh at the good memories she has of Sammy. she knows that he will always be with her in her heart.
my review
As mentioned at the beginning of the review, this is my favorite book.
It’s sweet, it’s smooth, but it’s clear. once the dog is dead, he can never come back;
“sammy can’t come back? I asked dad. just for a moment? Dad shook his head. you will have to remember it in your heart.”
i love how the book ends with the whole family celebrating sammy’s life. they all go to the field where he used to run and sniff, they blow the bubbles he loved to chase, but most importantly, they tell stories and remember the best hound in the world.
I love how the book indirectly talks about changing grief…
“as the summer days grew shorter, my chest stopped hurting when i thought of sammy”.
I once went to a funeral where the celebrant said the pain never went away but changed. I think that’s exactly what this book kindly reiterates.
This is definitely a book I’ll keep at home in case we ever need it.
the farewell book, by todd parr
As a mother of a four year old, I love this book. it’s simple, but it addresses all of the emotions anyone can feel when losing a loved one, and validates those emotions as normal and acceptable to feel.
from feeling sad to feeling angry, to not feeling hungry or energy to play, and more. but then he goes on to explain that all those extreme emotions will eventually pass and the good memories will take over and life will go on.
perhaps too simplistic for children over 5 years old. but for younger children I highly recommend it!
when a pet dies, by fred rogers
This is a wonderful book that talks about how animals can get hurt and sick. how they differ from toys and how they can die.
The book touches on feelings like being sad, angry, or lonely. it talks about funerals and graves and finally, it talks about how time will make them (the children) feel better, and how they (the children) will be able to share the good memories with family and friends.
my review
I really enjoyed this book. I thought he did a great job of explaining a difficult topic in a very basic way that young children could understand.
The images are a little out of date, but that’s not a problem. In fact, I really liked them, they took me back to my childhood.
The book is very real, so if you are looking for something more spiritual, this is not the book for you.
barney’s tenth good thing, by judith viorst
This is a beautiful story about a boy who loses his best friend, Barney the cat. the family organizes a funeral and the mother, father, child and a friend say goodbye.
Both mom and dad are very involved in helping the child through grief. Mom asks the boy to think of 10 nice things to say about Burney at the funeral, and Dad helps him realize that eventually, Barney will become one with nature by helping flowers and plants grow.
my review
There are two main things that I (as a parent) love about this book.
- Both parents are clear that it is okay to be sad, that the loss is real, and that they are grieving too, and
- in the book, there is a slight disagreement between the child and his little friend if barney is in heaven or not. the book leaves it at “maybe it is, maybe it isn’t”. a reminder that different people may believe different things.
saying goodbye to lulu, for corinne demas
this is a beautiful story about the bond a girl has with her dog, lulu.
The story centers around an old dog who can no longer do the things she used to do: climb stairs, see clearly, or even play.
while the little girl was sad to see how her friend was deteriorating, she wanted to help and take care of lulu and so she did everything for her: take the plate to lulu so she could eat her food, or even cover lulu with her basket with all her favorite toys to make lulu feel comfortable.
But one day the girl comes home from school to find out that Lulu was dead.
The family buried Lulu in the backyard in a beautiful spot under the tree that Lulu liked to dig.
my review
One of the things I like most about this book is how familiar it is. The book focuses on an aging dog who is gradually unable to do the things he used to do, which is what many children will see with their beloved aging pets.
The book is very frank, it doesn’t offer a silver lining or a third dimension like the sky. it is very real, direct and easy for children to understand the emotions of loss. what happens to lulu when she leaves is not discussed, but the focus is on the girl’s emotional journey.
At the end, this book talks about getting another dog, but don’t worry, there are two blank pages before I get to it. allowing you to finish reading if you don’t want to tackle that topic yet.
However, if you decided to go to the last page… I love how the girl makes a distinction that the new puppy isn’t lulu, but there’s no reason why she could love her new puppy so much
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“You’re not lulu, but I still love you.”
dog heaven, by cynthia rylant
This book paints a beautiful story about dogs that are happy doing what they love most once they die.
dogs can run all day in large open fields. they can eat as many dog biscuits as they want, and play with many children or rest as much as they want.
my review
I’m in 2 minds with this book if I’m being honest.
On the one hand, the child can become anxious at the thought that he may die and go to heaven, the book talks about dogs playing in heaven with many children.
on the other hand, the book talks about a beautiful and happy place for our wonderful furry friends.
I’ll leave it to you to decide if this is the book for your family or not.
be careful though; this book mentions god, heaven, children playing with the dogs in heaven, and angels feeding the dogs.
then if you are not religious or your child is already very anxious and mentioning that children play in heaven with dead dogs may cause more anxiety, I would skip this book.
cat heaven, by cynthia rylant
a beautiful book about the perfect place for a cat that has died. they eat a lot of tuna and fish, they play with a lot of cotton toys, they climb trees, and when they want to get down from the trees, they just fly down.
my review
Unlike the sky of dogs, the sky of cats has no children and the angels they paint in the book have no faces.
I like this because that angel can be someone special that the child has already lost like a grandparent. how wonderful it would be for a child to think that his beloved furry friend will be cared for by a dear family member who has passed away. but if your family hasn’t lost anyone special, then the angel can be anyone or anything. there would be no need to explain.
the book talks about heaven and god. so if you’re religious and your family just lost a cat, this book is beautifully illustrated and the picture it paints is super happy.
jasper day, by marjorie blain parker
I haven’t been able to read this book personally, but I’ve added it to my list because I love the idea that the descriptions I’ve read represent.
This book is the story of a little boy, Riley, who gets the chance to say goodbye to his best friend, Jasper. the dog has cancer and the family has decided that he is suffering too much and therefore it is time to put the puppy down.
To celebrate Jasper, the family has a day for him. they do everything that jasper likes to do.
The book talks about acceptance, remembrance and the importance of appreciating every moment of life.
goodbye, little mouse, by robie h harris
This book is the story of a mouse that dies overnight while his best friend, a little boy, is sleeping.
When the little boy wakes up and goes to say good morning to his furry friend, he realizes that something was wrong, mousse did not wake up.
At first, he is incredulous and does not want to accept that the mouse is dead. he then accepts that he is mad at mousie because he had died. Finally, the last emotion described by the child is sadness when accepting what has just happened.
but talking about the mouse, burying the mouse in a special box and saying goodbye helps the child deal with his emotions until he begins to feel better about the loss of his beloved pet.
my review
There are three main things that I (as a parent) love about this book:
- how this book explores 3 very powerful emotions during grief: disbelief, anger, and sadness. I love how parents allow the child to go through the emotions while sharing their own emotions with their child:
“I’m sad too,” Dad said. and he gave me another hug. ”
- the explanations and clear differences that the book gives between death and sleep. a very important difference to make, to avoid confusion and frighten the child!
“dead said daddy, it’s very different from sleeping. dead is – not a living I cried. and I started to cry”
- Finally, I love how the child is allowed to add the mouse’s favorite foods, crayons, an activity book and a picture of themselves to the box; to prevent his friend from going hungry, bored or lonely. The toddler is also allowed to decorate the box of the mousie’s final resting place. All this allows the child to say the last goodbye to her, allowing him to feel better and accept what has happened.
i will always love you, by hans wilhelm
this is the story of a dog, elfie, and his special boy; who progressed together in life. they did everything together: they ran together, slept in the same room, and played together all the time.
as elfie got older, she couldn’t walk up the stairs to the little boy’s room where his bed was. but that didn’t matter because the boy will pick her up every night. her best friend will help her to bed. until one day the dog didn’t wake up.
my review
I think the story is sweet. I especially love how the boy takes care of his best friend in his time of need. how he would carry her up the stairs to get her to bed.
I love the progression the book shows in the lives of the elves. she went from being a dog that ran through the fields, jumped into the water and played all the time with her favorite human, to a dog that was old and had difficulty walking. Many children will be able to identify with this.
Like all the other books on the list, I love how the whole family cried over the loss of their beloved pet. This is important to me because it shows children empathy and, more importantly, that it’s okay to cry when you’re sad.
Overall, I think the story is sweet. But my biggest problem, and the main reason I wouldn’t buy this book for my family, is the guilt the book can instill in a child who is already overwhelmed by the sadness of losing his pet.
in the story the boy says:
“my brother and sister loved elfie very much, but they never told her. I was also very sad, but it helped me to remember that he had told her every night, “I will always love you”
Those words could induce a great deal of unnecessary guilt and weigh heavily on the conscience of a sensitive and grieving child, if they’re old enough to realize they didn’t say I love you; your pet every day.
goodbye mog, by judith kerr
This book is the end of an era. many adults would have grown up with mog and his adventures. but this book says goodbye to mog.
this is a beautiful story about mog dying peacefully at home, from old age and fatigue. but the spirit of the cat remains to help the new kitten in the family adjust to the family.
my review
This story can calm children who have lost a pet. Shows that reminiscing can help with sadness, as Debbie and Nicky reminisce about their furry friend gone and the fun things he used to do.
The story is sweet as the old cat helps the new cat learn the family ways and keeps him from getting too scared.
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I love how the new cat, who is scared of everything and doesn’t want to be picked up or played with, has time to adjust instead of rushing to change it for another.
I love how the whole family cries after finding mog dead. this is a great way to explain to children that crying when they are sad is okay. that even adults cry when they are sad.
Overall, I think the story is sweet. but i have some concerns with the book:
- the story tells of mog sleeping forever. I am a big advocate of using the correct words with children to avoid confusion. going to sleep forever can worry children who may think that if they go to sleep, they will go to sleep forever. Or what if mommy and daddy go to sleep? Will they go to sleep forever? this can cause anxiety in children.
- a ghost hanging around. this can also be a cause for concern for children. i know my four year old son would have freaked out to think that pancho’s spirit could be in her house watching her.
- finally, the book is about how mog helps a new kitten adjust to the family . the concept is sweet if you want to get another pet right away. but if, like me, you’re not ready for another pet, the concept can cause problems as the seed is planted in your child’s mind.
the losing streak, of brian lies
This is a sweet story about a fox, Evan and their dog. the two friends were inseparable. They used to do everything together: they play together, they eat together, but their favorite thing to do together is take care of their award-winning garden, which grew big and beautiful.
but one day the unthinkable happens: evan’s dog dies.
without his best friend, evan did not want to do anything and the garden was abandoned. weeds grow higher and higher.
but among the overgrown garden, a twisted vine grew into a huge gourd. This brought Evan out of isolation from him when she decided to attend the county fair.
he had fun there; she met up with old friends, rode the roller coaster and ate lots of delicious food. in the pumpkin contest, she came in third place. the award? either $10 or a secret price at the checkout. Evan chose the money but then decided to look in the box. there he saw a beautiful puppy.
On the last page, the car drives away with Evan and a puppy in the car.
my review
I love this story. it’s sweet, it shows children that being sad is okay and normal, but that someday things will look better, and even though things won’t be the same; you can have fun and do all the things you used to do.
There are two main points that I love about this book:
- the fact that when the dog dies, the book simply says “but one day the unthinkable happened” and the dog is shown in his bed lying down.
this leaves open the possibility for you, the guardian, to approach the subject in the best way you see fit. you can add the word the dog is dead, or you can just leave it. Or you can ask the child what do you think is the unthinkable? opening a door for a conversation with your child. it really depends on the age of the child and what you think is best to do. and
- at the end, evan says he’ll take the money, but then looks at the box. On the last page, Evan leaves with the dog. this again leaves it open for you to decide what you want to do. If you’re not ready for another pet, then you don’t have to mention that Evan got the dog in the end. If you want another pet, you can mention that Evan changed his mind and chose the dog. you decide.
lifetimes: the beautiful way to explain death to children, by bryan mellonie
This is a book with beautiful illustrations that talk about life cycles in all living things; plants, people, birds, fish, even the smallest insects.
discusses how everything in life has a beginning and an end, and in the middle is life.
my review
I love how this book talks about death in a realistic way, without being heavy.
I love the illustrations, although they look a bit dated.
however, this book talks about everything having a beginning and an end, including people.
I guess this book will largely be a personal choice and/or the age of the child. That’s because this book can increase fear in young children if they begin to think that mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, or any special person in their life will die too.
I read it to my 4 year old son? yes i did it as i like how it explains the lifecycle. however, I read it to him at a time when there is no pain in his life.
will, would you read it if you were grieving for a pet? probably not at 4 years old, as I know how sensitive he is and how the book can increase the fear of losing someone in his life.
Will I read it to him if he was grieving for someone? absolutely. I think the book is excellent in the way it handles death.
if your child is dealing with the loss of a pet and is 6 years or older; then I recommend this book for your family.
However, if your child is dealing with the death of a pet and is under the age of 6, I’ll probably look it up at the library or go to a bookstore and look at it first. this book may not be for you.
the berenstain bears lose a friend, by jan berenstain
This is the story of Sister Bear who loved her goldfish, Goldie.
sister bear loved goldie very much and took good care of her pet fish. She cleaned goldie’s fish tank with care and love, fed goldie every morning, and fixed up goldie’s house with beautiful stones and a beautiful castle.
but one day, when sister bear was at school, goldie died.
To save Sister Bear from heartbreak, Papa Bear bought a new goldfish to pose as Goldie. but Sister Bear knew her favorite pet very well. She soon realized that Goldie was no longer in her tank and that the fish in the tank was not Goldie.
At that point, mother bear had to take charge and tell sister bear about goldie’s death. The whole family then had a ceremony for Goldie, and they buried her.
my review
I love the berenstain bears books, but I have to say this one wasn’t enough for me.
I love how the book talks about sister bear taking good care of her fish. I think this is an important message for children. I love how the book talks about goldfish not having long lives. for young children it is important to know and understand.
However, I hear how the parents tried to lie to the sister about goldie’s passing. although I understand the sentiment behind it (we all want to protect our children from heartbreak). lying is not something I will recommend. I believe that honesty between parents and children is very important, and death is part of life. an ugly part that we all have to learn to deal with. so for me, this book will not be one to add to my collection.
conclusion
Books are a great help, to help us adults to explain a very complex subject to our children. some books show and explain the different emotions we all feel during grief, some show that accepting a new pet into our hearts is okay, others may show that while everything looks dark in the first days of losing our furry friends, the light it will light up. passes and life will continue.
Of the 14 books listed above, my favorites are:
- sammy in heaven,
- barney’s tenth good thing, and
- the mean streak.
but since this is a very personal decision, I have given you many books with my honest opinion so that you can decide what is best for you and your family.
I hope the list can help your family get through this very difficult time, and know that the pain you and your children are currently feeling will change; time is a great healer.
I send you lots of virtual hugs.
See Also: 10 Best Books About Life to Help You Find Your Meaning – Lifehack