section 8: the successful family
chapter 27: a sacred circle
sanctity of the family circle: there is a sacred circle around each family that must be preserved. no other has any rights in that sacred circle. husband and wife must be everything to each other. the wife should not have secrets to hide from her husband and let others know, and the husband should not have secrets to hide from her wife to relate to others. the heart of his wife must be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for the faults of his wife. Neither party should ever indulge in a joke at the expense of the other party’s feelings. Husband or wife should never complain about each other to each other, whether for fun or in any other way, because frequently indulging in these silly and seemingly perfectly harmless jokes will end in mutual testing and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around each family.1 ah 177.1
the home circle should be considered a sacred place, a symbol of heaven, a mirror in which to reflect ourselves. friends and acquaintances we may have, but in home life they must not interfere. a strong sense of ownership should be felt, giving a sense of calm, tranquility, confidence.2 ah 177.2
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tongues, ears and eyes to be sanctified—that those who make up the family circle pray that god sanctify their tongues, their ears, their eyes and every member of their body. when he comes into contact with evil, there is no need to be overcome by evil. Christ has made it possible for the character to be fragrant with good… ah 177.3
how many dishonor christ and misrepresent his character in the home circle! How many do not manifest patience, tolerance, forgiveness and true love! Many have their likes and dislikes and feel free to manifest their own wicked character instead of revealing the will, the works, the character of Christ. Jesus’ life is full of kindness and love. Are we growing in his divine nature?3 ah 178.1
unity, love and peace: fathers and mothers make a solemn promise to god, whom they profess to love and obey, that by his grace they will not disagree with each other, but in his own life and temperament manifest the spirit they want their children to treasure.4 ah 178.2
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Parents should be careful not to allow the spirit of dissension to creep into the home; because this is one of satan’s agents to make his impression on the character. If parents strive to bring about unity in the home by instilling the principles that governed the life of Christ, dissension will be driven out and unity and love will remain. parents and children will partake of the gift of the holy spirit.5 ah 178.3
That husband and wife remember that they have enough burdens to carry without ruining their lives by allowing differences to enter. those who make room for small differences invite satan into their home. children catch the spirit of strife over mere trifles. evil agencies do their part to make parents and children disloyal to god.6 ah 178.4
Though trials may arise in married life, husband and wife must keep their souls in God’s love. the father must look at the mother of his children as deserving of all goodness, tenderness and sympathy.7 ah 178.5
The Secret of Family Unity: The cause of division and discord in families and in the church is separation from Christ. To draw near to Christ is to draw near to one another. The secret to true unity in the church and in the family is not diplomacy, management, or superhuman effort to overcome difficulties—although there will be much of this to be done—but union with Christ. oh 179.1
imagine a large circle, from the edge of which there are many lines running towards the center. the closer these lines are to the center, the closer they are to each other. oh 179.2
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So it is in the Christian life. The closer we get to Christ, the closer we will be to each other. God is glorified when his people join in harmonious action.8 ah 179.3
each one helping the other: the family business is a sacred social society, in which each member must play a role, helping each other. the housework is to move smoothly, like the different parts of a well-regulated machine.9 ah 179.4
Each member of the family must realize that it is his individual responsibility to do his part to increase the comfort, order, and regularity of the family. one should not work against another. all must unanimously engage in the good work of encouraging one another; they must exercise meekness, tolerance and patience; speak in low and calm tones, avoiding confusion; and each one doing their best to lighten the loads of the mother…. ah 179.5
Each member of the family must understand exactly the part they are expected to play in union with the others. everyone from the age of six onwards should understand that they are required to bear their share of life’s burdens.10 ah 180.1
a proper resolution—I must grow in grace at home and wherever I am, to give moral power to all my actions. at home I must take care of my spirit, my actions, my words. I must dedicate time to personal culture, to train and educate myself in the correct principles. I must be an example for others. I must meditate on the word of God night and day and bring it to my practical life. the sword of the spirit, which is the word of god, is the only sword that I can safely use.11 ah 180.2
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