Today we are all in a state of general overwhelm, bombarded by statistics about the covid-19 pandemic, the increase in infection rates across the country. the information is meant to keep us engaged and informed, but a possibly unintended consequence is the constant, daily reminder that we are all mere mortals, forced to think about our own mortality. Even those of us who are currently in good health are programmed to worry, if not for ourselves, then for our loved ones. especially those who may be at higher risk of infection or too far away to see or visit, even from socially safe distances. in these times, it can be cathartic to accept the situation, open up to the kind of information available, and instead of working to avoid these stressful thoughts, lean on information, educate yourself, and make some decisions for your own future. and encourage candid conversations with loved ones. The following is a collection of suggested resources, good books, on the subject of death, dying, and dealing with our mortality. is a set of great reads, well suited for a variety of situations. We have curated this collection in the name of wellness and wellness. families and friends should talk things over. you owe it to yourself to take a moment and consider your own thoughts and ideas on this difficult but predictable topic. We will all reach this juncture at some point. it can also be on our own terms.
being mortal: medicine and what matters in the end
by atul gawande
You are reading: Hospice books on dying
Medicine has triumphed in modern times, transforming childbirth, injuries and infectious diseases from distressing to manageable. but in the inevitable condition of aging and death, the goals of medicine seem too often to go against the interest of the human spirit. nursing homes, concerned about safety, restrain patients in beds with rails and wheelchairs. hospitals isolate the dying, monitoring vital signs long after the goals of cure have become moot. doctors, committed to prolonging life, continue to perform devastating procedures that ultimately prolong suffering. Gawande, a practicing surgeon, addresses the ultimate limitation of his profession, arguing that quality of life is the desired goal for patients and families. Gawande offers examples of freer and more socially satisfying models for helping the sick and dependent elderly, and explores varieties of palliative care to demonstrate that a person’s final weeks or months can be rich and dignified.
Filled with eye-opening research and riveting storytelling, Being Mortal affirms that medicine can comfort and enhance our experience even to the end, bringing not only a good life but also a good ending.
Final Gifts: Understanding the Consciousness, Needs, and Special Communications of the Dying
by maggie callanan
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Through their stories we come to appreciate the almost miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; we also discover the gifts—of wisdom, faith, and love—that the dying leave for the living to share. Packed with practical advice on how to respond to requests from the dying and help them prepare emotionally and spiritually for death, The Final Gifts show how we can help the dying person live fully to the end.
die well
by ira byock md
This is ira byock’s dream and he is devoting his life to making it come true. die well takes us to the homes and heads of families with which dr. byock has worked, telling stories of love and reconciliation in the face of tragedy, pain, medical drama and conflict. Through real patient stories, it shows us that a great deal of important emotional work can be accomplished in the last months, weeks, and even days of life. he is a companion for families, showing them how to deal with doctors, how to talk to loved ones, and how to make the end of life as meaningful and enriching as the beginning.
I wasn’t ready to say goodbye: Surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one
the dueling book that just “gets it”. Whether you’re grieving the sudden loss of a loved one or helping someone else through their grief, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye offers a comforting hand to help guide you through the grieving process, from the first few weeks to the longer. long-term emotional and physical effects. He then reveals some of the myths of the grieving process and what really happens as he navigates through the pain.
Written by two authors who have experienced it firsthand, this book has offered comfort to more than 150,000 people, from seniors to teenagers and from bereaved to people who lost a loved one years ago.
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An exploration of unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye gives grieving people a solid anchor from which to weather the storm of grief and begin to rebuild their lives. .
on grief and bereavement: finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss
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by elisabeth kübler-ross m.d. and David Kessler
elisabeth kübler-ross on death and dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Before her own death in 2004, she and David Kessler completed On Grief and Grieving, which looks at how we experience the grieving process. and Acceptance—On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, ghosts, dreams, isolation, and healing. this is “a fitting end and tribute to the renowned expert on end-of-life issues” (good management).
Something Very Sad Happened: A Young Children’s Guide to Understanding Death
by bonnie zucker
Something Very Sad Happened is intended to be read to two- and three-year-olds to help them understand death and process the loss of a loved one. written at a developmentally appropriate level for two- and three-year-olds, the story explains death; lets kids know it’s okay to feel sad; and assures children that they can still love the person who died, and that the person who died will always love them. since the child of two to three years does not know how to read, this story is meant to be personalized; Certain words are color coded red to prompt you to substitute the appropriate nouns and pronouns for the person who died. includes an extensive note for parents and caregivers with more information on talking to children about death, guidelines for answering a child’s questions, tips for attending funerals and visiting cemeteries, and ideas for memorializing a loved one.
I miss you: a first look at death
by pat thomas
When a close friend or family member dies, it can be difficult for children to express their feelings. I Miss You helps children understand that death is a natural complement to life, and that pain and loss are normal feelings after the death of a loved one. delicately presented series titles a first look at the series explore the dynamics of various relationships experienced by children from preschool through early school age. Children are encouraged to understand personal feelings and social problems as a first step in coping with them. Written by psychotherapist and counselor Pat Thomas, these books promote positive interaction between children, parents, and teachers. The story lines are simple and direct, easily accessible to younger children. there are full-color illustrations on every page.
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