Books are such a powerful tool for parents: they’re a way to connect, a way to calm down, and a way to teach life lessons.
The first list includes books that directly teach children about self-control strategies and are great for helping them reflect on their own ability to self-regulate in a variety of situations.
You are reading: Self control books for kids
The second list below includes books that teach children to breathe through emotions, to be able to pause before acting, to be aware of their bodies, and more. Through mindfulness methods, children can learn self-awareness and self-calming strategies that will become lifelong skills for managing stress and emotions.
And finally, the last list below includes hilarious picture books that show characters in hilarious and relatable situations. kids will want to read these books over and over again, and maybe learn some self-regulation skills along the way.
see the full list (most) to buy here – nurture and thrive bookstore: books on mindfulness and regulation for children
best books that teach regulation strategies to children
1. what were you thinking? A Story About Learning Impulse Control: This book follows a day in the life of Braden, a third grader who is learning impulse control from him. Braden wants to be funny and blurts out things he shouldn’t, reacts mindlessly to things he thinks are unfair, and eats a bunch of cupcakes without thinking about who or what they might be for. Fortunately, Braden has some pretty supportive adults in his life who give him some advice on how to start controlling his impulses: stop, think, and decide if your actions will make the situation better or worse.
This book opens up many opportunities to talk about self-regulation in the school setting. things like when you can be funny when you should be serious, how to react to situations when you’re angry, and thinking through problems.
If you like this book, there are a few others by the same author that address the executive function skill of flexible thinking: Of course, it’s a big deal and My day is ruined!
2. What Should Danny Do? – This book also goes through several choices a boy named Danny makes over the course of his week. He loves soccer, superheroes, and ninjas and he has his very own superpower -The power to choose!
The reader also has the power to choose in this book. the story follows in a “choose your own adventure” style. Your child can help Danny make decisions, and sometimes those decisions lead to good outcomes, and sometimes they don’t.
The first time we read it, my son made the “right” decisions. it was pretty obvious what the best options would be. he then he wanted to go back and choose some of the bad options. this shows children how actions and choices have consequences.
Many of the consequences are natural and encourage empathic thinking, but some of them don’t fit perfectly with a positive/kind parenting style. that was fine with us, my son seemed to understand that those were danny’s consequences and that his consequences would not necessarily be the same. in general, he had the idea that your choices lead to certain results.
where the book really shines is when danny makes good decisions and is proud of his day and also when danny doesn’t make good decisions, the passages where his parents reinforce the power of choice. For example, Danny’s dad says, “I heard your day wasn’t that great, Danny…all superheroes make mistakes, and that’s okay. But the best superheroes learn from their mistakes and use their power to choose wisely.”
I recommend this book: the concept of choosing your adventure is excellent and the general tone of the message is positive. just be aware that if you follow positive/soft parenting, some of the consequences (going to your room, no chocolate for a week) are “punishment” consequences.
There’s a new book in this series that follows Danny through a day at school:What’s Danny supposed to do? school day
See Also: 15 Best Books to Learn Tagalog for Beginners and Beyond – Learn Languages From Home
3. how to be a superhero called self-control: Following the theme of superheroes, this book features a hero called self-control who teaches children (ages 4-7) how to manage difficult feelings like anxiety, frustration, and anger. the back cover of the book has resources for parents. There’s also a book by the same author for older kids (ages 7-14), The Kid’s Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control: Simple Things to Help Kids Regulate Their Emotions and Senses
4. What To Do When You’re Angry: A Kids’ Workbook: If your child has trouble regulating strong emotions like anger or has a short temper, this workbook is for him. This workbook helps children consciously identify the signs of anger in their body, how to discharge their anger in healthy ways, and how to use their angry energy to solve problems. Based on self-regulation theory, this is a great book for learning how to manage big crazy emotions.
See Also: Book Madness: A Tournament of Books – The Brown Bag Teacher
best mindfulness books for kids
mindfulness is the ultimate self-regulation tool. If we can help our children become aware of how their bodies react when they are stressed and how to calm that stress and mind chatter, we are giving them a skill they will use for life. in fact, developmental psychologists have found that mindfulness training has been shown to increase self-regulation of attention in children.
These books capture the essence of paying attention to the interior and living in the moment. We often focus on teaching our kids to pay attention to what’s going on around them, but they really need to be able to tune in to themselves first. this is the first step in mindfulness.
5. Yoga and Mindfulness: A Toolkit for Kids: This workbook introduces children to mindfulness holistically, through mindful breathing, mindfulness, and mindfulness. sensory play and conscious movement (yoga). when we ask kids to “calm down,” what we really want them to do is work through their emotions and refocus. but what do you focus on again? this workbook introduces children to their self-energy: beyond self-esteem or self-confidence, the energy own is part of you that is calm, curious and connected. when you feel down, all you need to do is find your own energy, how do you do it? use some of the many included exercises, for example try rainbow breathing, or how about a sensory scavenger hunt, or a yoga sequence for big thrills.
6. my magical breath – what a beautiful book this is! I love this book that teaches children to breathe their thoughts and feelings directly into the pages of the book. This book introduces the concept of breathing as a way to refocus when thoughts and feelings run through your mind. “Do you have magical breath? when you are worried, nervous or sad, take a deep breath. now let it go. Did that help you feel better? watch? it’s magic!” learning to breathe mindfully when our thoughts and emotions are out of control is a core self-regulation strategy. his magical breath!”
7. A World of Pausabilities: An Exercise in Mindfulness – Written by Psychologist Frank J. Sileo, Ph.D., this book is a wonderful introduction to mindfulness for children. Children do tend to live in the moment — but like the rest of us, they spend much of there time racing from one activity to the next, never pausing to enjoy something. This book will help your child and your family find some quiet moments in the day — and with it some calm. Learning to pause is an essential component of self-regulation — and it is important to teach our children this skill at times when they are not upset, which is exactly what this book encourages children to do, to learn to pause just like they would learn to play an instrument or ride a bicycle.
8. The Lemonade Hurricane – A Story of Mindfulness and Meditation – This book takes mindfulness one step further, showing how it can be a calming influence. From the Synopsis: “Henry is a lot of fun when he’s not raiding the house, so Emma decides to teach him to sit still. By showing him how to sit, bend and breathe, Emma is able to calm the hurricane inside Henry.” This book is good for helping teach children a balance between go, go, go and stop and rest themselves and their minds.
9. Mindful Bea and the Worry Tree – This is a brand new book that hasn’t been released yet at the time I am writing this post. I am excited about this book because mindfulness is a great tool for children with anxiety. In this book, Bea gets herself all worked up before the start of a birthday party, but after stepping outside in her backyard and breathing mindfully and doing visulations, she able to calm down and join the party. I love that Bea has a worry tree, research shows that being in nature helps calm the mind. This book will be a good tool for parents of children with worries.
10. i am peace: a mindfulness book: this is a sweet book that teaches children the steps of mindfulness and the beauty of living in the here and now in a gentle storybook way. in the back, there is also a guided meditation for children that is a good activity before bed, especially for children with stress or worries. it’s good to have on the shelf that you can pull out when your child has had a difficult or stressful day, “there are times when I worry about what might happen next and what happened before. the thoughts in my head are like running water and I feel like a ship without an anchor being dragged… I take a moment and breathe. and then I say to myself: it’s okay.”
11. breathe and be: a book of mindfulness poems – this is also a wonderful book to read when you and your child need calm and relaxation, “what am I thinking? comes and goes in my mind? i watch my thoughts. they swim like little fishes. they glow blue, green, red, yellow… there is a quiet place inside my head like an egg hidden in a nest. a place i go when the world it’s loud.” This book teaches the steps of mindfulness, breathing, being aware of thoughts and letting them go, refocusing on the breath, and finding your own quiet place. This is true for emotions as well.
12. a quiet place – this book is relaxing to read at the end of a busy day. it’s about finding your own quiet place, by the shore, by the pond, on a mountain, in the snow, or maybe the one inside of you. This is a great book to show your child that everyone has a quiet place within themselves. teaching your child that he can go to that quiet place is giving him the gift of peace.
13. My Amazing Talking Body: This book teaches kids the first step to mindfulness: body awareness and how emotions feel physically. “It tells me I’m sleepy when my eyes are droopy and I can’t stop yawning.” the book goes through the feelings of hunger, thirst, sleep, anger, sadness, fear and calm. “When I’m calm, my muscles feel relaxed as if my arms and legs have turned into spaghetti noodles. my breathing is slow and deep like when I blow up a balloon”. The book also discussed how to calm down after feeling angry or sad and provided strategies for calming down. learning to listen to the body is a good first step in conscious awareness and emotion regulation.
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14. Mind Bubbles: Exploring Mindfulness with Kids – I love books that give kids a concrete example of how to deal with abstract thoughts and feelings. This book teaches children how to focus on their breath while letting thoughts, feelings, and worries melt away like bubbles. “Mental bubbles can float for a while, but the interesting thing is that they always burst. thoughts and feelings change and new ones arise.” this is a great book to introduce mindfulness meditation to children.
15. mindfulness for vikings – inspirational quotes and images that encourage a happy and stress-free life for adults and children – this one is a little different, but I love it. Here are more inspirational things and sayings to think about during mindful moments. encourages living in the moment, being aware and appreciating the little things. being able to be quiet enough to appreciate those things. “Even small moments are great moments.”
16. The Mindfulness Mandala Drawing Book for Kids: Research shows that coloring mandalas induces a meditative state and decreases anxiety in college students. This coloring book for kids introduces mandalas and the concept of mindfulness as you color or draw. The book then goes through different types of patterns and provides grids for children to draw their own mandalas. using art as a self-regulation tool is a great life skill. I would recommend this book for children ages 8-12.
17. and she said breathe: this book follows a young woman named sophie as she faces different situations, from embarrassment to frustration to anger and more. each time sophie uses her breath to help her get over her feelings.
breathing is a great self-regulation tool and children will relate to sophie’s feelings and how she uses her “friend” breathing. “Inhale, exhale, this is how each night will end. with a smile on her face, she knows that breathing is her best friend.”
Yoga and Mindfulness Toolkit for Kids
My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathin
A World of Pausabilities: An Exercise in Mindfulness
The Lemonade Hurricane: A Story of Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindful Bea and the Worry Tree
I Am Peace: A Book of Mindfulness
Breathe and Be: A Book of Mindfulness Poems
A Quiet Place
My Incredible Talking Body
Mind Bubbles: Exploring mindfulness with kids
Mindfulness for Vikings: Inspirational quotes and pictures encouraging a happy stress free life for adults and kids
The Mindfulness for Kids Mandala Drawing Book
And She Said Breathe
See Also: Book Madness: A Tournament of Books – The Brown Bag Teacher
The best picture books on self-control for kids (or lack of self-control!)
These latest books are all stories: picture books with stories that illustrate how regulation happens (or doesn’t happen) in many kinds of situations. your child will be able to identify with the characters as they overcome frustration, solve problems, resist impulses, and look forward to something worth waiting for.
17. Nanette’s Baguette: This book of rhymes by Mo Willem follows Nanette in her first time as responsible for “getting the baguette”. but will she be able to resist the baguette? It’s hot, it smells wonderful!!! you’ll love the final twist to this book that shows that sometimes it’s okay to give in to our impulses and enjoy. learning to regulate is not just about suppressing, but also about being able to enhance emotions, savor life, knowing when to let go a little.
18. Waiting is Not Easy – Another great Mo Willems books, this time with Piggy and Gerald. Waiting is not easy and your kids will be able to relate to Gerald’s discomfort while waiting. But, they will also learn that some things are worth waiting for…
19. the most magnificent thing: oh, knowing what you want to do, being able to imagine it exactly how you want it in your head and not being able to build it. this is a feeling our children are all too familiar with as they gain coordination and skills. the main character of this book gets frustrated when her invention doesn’t come out, she’s furious! but then, she goes for a walk. she starts to feel different, she calms down. then she is able to think more clearly again. Will she be able to go back and see her work with new eyes?
what a life skill! so I can take a break and come back and try again. this book teaches kids that things don’t always happen on the first try, that you can get excited, but you can regulate that, take a break, and persevere.
20. argle fox: this is a great book on how to overcome great feelings of frustration and try again and again. the story is captivating for young children, written with a sense of anticipation. the story highlights great emotions, critical thinking, creativity and perseverance. Kids will be able to relate very well to Argyle Fox’s frustration and be happy when he finally finds a solution.
21. remy the rhino learns patience: remy is a grumpy rhino and all the other animals annoy him. Angry, he tries to get his way and one day he makes a mistake. Will someone come to his aid? The kids will see that anger makes Remy’s situation worse, and if he can relax, he might figure out a way to solve his problem and make a friend!
22. the very impatient caterpillar: the librarian read this to my son’s class on a recent field trip and the kids loved it! this is a very relatable story about a caterpillar that can’t wait to become a butterfly. I literally can’t wait. perfect to read in any situation in which your child will have to learn that good things come to whom he expects.
Nanette’s Baguette
Waiting Is Not Easy!
The Most Magnificent Thing
Argyle Fox
Remy the Rhino Learns Patience
The Very Impatient Caterpillar
See Also: Book Madness: A Tournament of Books – The Brown Bag Teacher