Although already one of the New York Times best-selling authors when it comes to non-fiction, thanks to her autobiography My Teenage Dream Ends, former teen mom star Farrah Abraham is trying her hand at a new genre:! romantic fiction! yes please to that. Her new novel, Celebrity Sex Tape: In the Making, is the first in a planned trilogy of sensual reads, courtesy of erotic fiction publisher Ellora’s Cave. follows main character fallon opal navigating the fame and infamy that comes with a breakout performance on reality television: an l.a. hedonistic. lifestyle filled with handsome boys, haters, misleading advertisers and gay best friends. In a terse quote, Ellora Cave describes Fallon and his life like this:
“to the world i’m just another crazed star: always travelling, clubbing non-stop and juggling drug and alcohol issues. the truth couldn’t be further from that. i’m on a journey to find myself “. And I’ll do it shamelessly, my way.”
Now, you might think there are some obvious semi-autobiographical plotlines: Farrah herself appears on the cover, and Farrah Fallon embarks on a sex tape with a male porn star who also hosts a cooking show. (Also, the scenes on that tape mirror Fallon Farrah’s real-life scenes almost exactly.) but no, this is a work of fiction in its entirety! there’s even a cheeky disclaimer to that effect:
You are reading: Sensual excerpts from books
“names, characters, companies, relationships (individuals and/or with any business), places, facts and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used in a strictly fictitious manner… if anyone wants to try to recognize that it is a villain or a hero in this work of fiction, is self-loathing and paranoid, is an unethical piece of shit, or suffers from delusions of grandeur. it’s not you! you…just…it’s not. ..so…interesting.”
so there. Even if it’s all made up, in the making is a puzzling view of the world of tabloid celebrity, and the cost (in every way) of that seemingly-not-all-that-is-it-will-be status. . if you choose to read it that way, that is; you can read it just for the sex, because there’s a lot of that going on too, go figure.
Enjoy this excerpt, exclusive to Cosmopolitan, featuring a steamy scene between Fallon and Ilyan, a sex-crazed boyfriend character. for context’s sake, they had a little argument in a nightclub just before we joined them on their drive home:
“what the hell was that, fallon?” Ilyan snapped as she slowed down to go through a red light.
“what was what? you need to relax.”
“you totally embarrassed me.” she rapped on the steering wheel with her knuckles and looked at me with a frown.
“they were boring. make more interesting friends and I’ll pay attention to you.” I rolled my eyes. I was fine going to the party, I wasn’t going to say no to the free drink or a reason to dress up, but this was ridiculous… I sat and fumed until we got to his building. I got out of the car and slammed the door shut, turning to face him, just as his cell phone rang.
He held up a finger, no doubt aware that he had been about to give it to her. “hi, dad.”
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I rolled my eyes and followed him into the building. I couldn’t even leave without him, my keys were upstairs in his condo. he hung up before we got on the elevator, but another couple was already waiting for the elevator. I managed to contain my anger, preferring to scold him in private anyway.
ilyan led the way to the front door and opened it. she had my rebuttal on the tip of her tongue. the front door closed and she pulled me into her arms. her kiss was hot, hungry, demanding. I found myself melting into him, sinking into his touch, seduced by the taste of him and how she mastered me so expertly with a single touch. I pushed her shoulders. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”
“get mad at me later. fuck me now.” she didn’t let me answer, she just picked me up and carried me through space.
“um, okay.” it was impossible to think when she kissed me like that, getting into my mouth, touching my body. We got to the dining room table. Ilyan kicked over the chairs and left me on the edge. even though we’d had sex with most of the furniture, this was brand new. he scratched at the zipper, pulling it down. the fabric might have ripped, he wasn’t too sure.
my legs dangled to the side and my heels fell to the floor, discarded like my bag and their keys before them. cool air skated over my breasts. I’d forgotten about my bra ever since I knew ilyan liked it, so there was nothing to protect my breasts when she pulled my dress down to my waist. the straps captured my arms at my sides. her narrowed gaze devoured my body, touching me with dark intent. I flinched and reached for him, except he kept me where I was. he loved and hated the strength of him, how he could control me, pull me at will. at this time he was fucking hot.
He pushed me down onto the table and held me there with one hand on my stomach and removed my dress, leaving me in just my underwear. This style of uninhibited sex was new to me, and I was quickly becoming addicted to it. I had never known the rude abandon or carnal intent that Ilyan showed me. my stomach fluttered as he grabbed my panties and yanked on them. they ripped the seam on one side. Ilyan and I paused, looking at the broken piece of material. a smile spread across his face and he tore the other side with a simple flex of his arms.
ilyan shed his suit jacket and shirt until all he wore was his pants, and it was easy to get rid of them. he wanted to do that myself, unbutton his shirt, caress his chest, but ilyan was the type to want all control when we fucked. It was a small thing to capitulate to his desire, especially when he made me cum so many times.
He got between my knees, pushing them open. my heart was still beating a little harder from the first moment he saw me fully exposed. the nearest chair screeched across the floor as he carried it back to the head of the table and sat down. I was her feast, spread out for the taking. he didn’t waste time touching or caressing, but many times we didn’t have time for that. He took my butt with both hands, his shoulders holding me open for him, and he lifted me up. I flattened my hands on the table and held my breath as he licked the length of my slit.
My toes brushed his chest and I opened my hands wider. he sucked on my clit, kneading my ass. he had surprised me the first time he had penetrated me in both places, introducing me to a new realm of sexual fantasy. it was easy to imagine this moment happening on film. just thinking about what we were doing and where it was so hot, I nearly came from the mental image alone. ilyan put me down and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.
“huh?” I blinked at him, a little crazy with lust. she reached into her pocket for her wallet and tossed it on the table before removing her pants and underwear. I opened it and took out the condom he had placed there this morning, just in case. Until now we had needed all of his condoms just in case. I tore up the package, but he took the piece of latex off me before I could roll it up and did it himself. he pushed me to the edge of the table and pushed inside me. I gasped and grabbed the edge as my body stretched to accommodate it. the feel of him was becoming more familiar. he leaned over me, forcing me back almost to my elbows and pushed, sinking completely into me.
He bent his head and sucked on a nipple. I ran my fingers through his hair and squeezed it with my inner muscles. he felt like there was a thread of sensation tied from my chest to my pussy, and each stroke of his tongue caressed me in both places. he at last he began to thrust, in and out of my pussy. the sound of his breathing, of our joined bodies, was the only sound in his condo. I moaned, frustrated at the slowness of his movements, the lack of stimulation of my clitoris. he had spoiled me for the most part of it, giving me multiple orgasms when no one else had been able to.
The chair was right behind him and I was able to put my foot on the edge. when he pushed, so did I. Little sparks shot out behind my eyelids at the sensation. again, he pushed and I got up to meet him. oh, that was good.
my orgasm coursed through my body, hot and consumed, i shuddered and moaned as ilyan continued to fuck me. Sparks of sensation coursed through my veins, drawing the orgasm out longer as it hit the perfect spot inside me. I almost cried out, the pleasure becoming too much, but Ilyan thrust deep and moaned. I gasped, relieved that he had come too.
and hot as this scene reads, it appears (no pun intended) early in the book: as fallon’s sexual awakening unfolds, she becomes kinkier. much more perverted. Without spoiling the details, her subsequent relationships include a hookup in a club, a hookup in a limo, and even a hookup in jail. oh, and the following exchange also takes place:
I got out of bed and got into a puddle.
“what…?”
“oh, you squirted,” ilyan said casually.”
farrah abraham’s celebrity sex tape: in development is available for purchase as an e-book through barnes & noble. is perfect dirty reading for the beach – just find a place to sit and read in the shade, because otherwise it’s hard to tell if you’re on fire or just blushing.
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