We’ve all seen old age in action, and it’s often not a pretty sight. most likely it will hit suddenly. “It is,” said James Thurber, “one of the most unexpected things that can happen to a man.” In Paolo Sorrentino’s Cinematic Youth, an elderly composer played by Michael Caine sums it up: “I’ve grown old and I don’t know how I got here.”
but we must never let a catastrophe stand in the way of good humor and practical common sense. “One of the most irritating things about getting older,” a friend of mine once said at lunch, “is having no idea how much time you have left. take george’s tuxedo. he is almost 80 years old. the old one is practically falling apart, but what’s the point of getting a new one if he’s not going to put it to decent use?”
I trust my own tuxedo will help me out. Being a mere 78, I am still enjoying late middle age. however, I am well aware that senecity lurks just around the corner, and it occurred to me that, before it arrives, I might do worse than fill the relentless minute with some light-hearted remarks about the dangers and pleasures it can bring. Most of the writers below have taken a positive, and often tongue-in-cheek, look at old age, never forgetting that beneath the eccentricities that accompany the passing of the years lie uncertainty, pain, and thoughts of mortality.
You are reading: Best books about aging
1. the summer of a dormouse by john mortimermortimer was well aware that the price of growing old is looking ridiculous. the opening sentence says it all: “the day will come in your life, almost certainly will come, when the voice of god will thunder at you from a cloud: ‘from now on you will not be able to put on your own socks’”. Reading this collection of theatrical anecdotes, gossip, fond memories of friends, and witty observations made as we age is an embarrassing reminder that perhaps the greatest pleasures of old age are memories.
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2. A positively final look from Alec GuinnessGuinness is equally reassuring to those of us who wonder what enjoyment can be found in old age. Packed with opinions on books read, plays and films seen, stories of happy times spent with old friends like Alan Bennett, Ireneworth and John Wells, and the joys of home life in Hampshire, this journal is interspersed with moving accounts of the deaths of friends and funerals they attended.
3. i don’t remember anything about nora ephron nora ephron never reached old age: she died at the age of 71, from pneumonia caused by acute myeloid leukemia. however, the screenwriter and author herself knew very well what it feels like to grow old and, as her title says, some of the annoying and often absurd flaws that the passage of time brings with it. not being able to remember a damn thing is just one; She gleefully lists nearly a dozen people she knew that she remembers nothing about (Groucho Marx, Cary Grant, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, and Peter Ustinov).
4. this nonsenses by deborah moggachmoggach’s novel, on which the best exotic marigold hotel movie is based, It not only has a different title but also a more useful premise. Convinced that Britain is no good at caring for the elderly, and that no one is better at it than the Indians (“do you know what our pension plan is called? it’s called family!”), the notion of the wheeler dealer Sonny’s turning an old guest house in his hometown of Bangalore into a retirement home turns out to be a stroke of genius. Moggach’s story also contains a serious message for those struggling to cope with care in the community.
5. Simon Greygray’s Coda has been a wonderful companion to many veterans, myself included, thanks to the four volumes of utterly addictive journals he began writing at age 65 and continued until his death in 2008 at age 71. when he’s not describing holiday dinner in greece with his beloved victoria, trying to quit smoking or being in the broadway lights, he wonders, and often worries, about almost any topic, no matter how trivial, that is goes through his head. In addition to being one of the funniest writers I’ve ever read, he’s terribly moving, especially in this final volume as he battles cancer in what he describes as “the beginning of my death.”
6. somewhere towards the end by diana athillathill will turn 100 on december 21 and is more qualified than most to reflect on the losses, and more importantly the gains, that old age brings. Never one to harbor regrets, his spirits are as high as ever in this wonderful book of reflections on loves, friendships, and events in his long life. he gleefully offers readers wonderful, wise, and often comforting thoughts as he contemplates death.
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7. nothing to scare from julian barnes reading this book is like taking a long walk with a friend who is as erudite and serious as he is entertaining. Barnes is more contemplative as he takes us through his family and childhood and into arguments about the existence of God (“I don’t believe in God, but I miss him”) and surprising exchanges with his philosopher brother. but what worries him most is death and the fear of death, his own, mainly. What will it be like when he arrives? a good one, or one filled with pain and regret?
8. being mortal by atul gawande “mortality can be a treacherous subject,” writes surgeon atul gawande in this extraordinary book on aging and death in the 21st century. For many people, medications have made the end of life a completely bleak affair. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says Gawande. dying should not be something meaningless and something to be feared. to depend on drugs that confuse our brains is to deprive ourselves of useful and coherent last days on earth. It is not a good death that we should expect, but a good life, until the end.
9. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway After stealing his title, the least I can do is nod in admiration at Hemingway’s legendary tale of a boy, an old man, and a huge fish. Said in sober language, the respect that exists between the fisherman and the boy is perfect and touching, as is the respect that the old man shows for the fish, with which he converses as he drags it out to sea.
10. the old boys by william trevorthe upcoming election for president of the old boys association brings to the fore all the decades-old feuds between these rather sad old men, in this hilarious yet grim book. however, old age has its benefits, as the general shrine points out to a spectator at the cricket match of old men. “We are lucky, reflects the lady: it is more pleasant to be over 70 years old, than to be very young. nothing new will happen to us. to have everything to come, to have nothing to come, one can face it.”
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- christopher matthew’s old man and knee is published by little brown (£12.99). To order a copy for £11.04, visit guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK P&P over £10, online orders only. phone orders min. £1.99 p&p.