I never wanted to get married.
Growing up, I knew my parents were committed to each other, but the marriage they modeled was not something I wanted to experience in my life. so i thought about being a single missionary like amy carmichael and investing my life in the poor in the slums.
You are reading: Books for christian couples
except god had other plans. (I can still hear him laughing at his good-natured laugh. Girl, you think you know what’s best for you, but my plans are higher than yours, and I’ve got something else to come!)
Long story short, my freshman year of college I fell in love with a guy I met at 6th grade camp, and I’ve been crazy about him ever since. Sure, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and five years later, I still feel like we’re new to this whole you and me thing forever. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world, and I’m so glad God didn’t go along with my plans. *smile*
The key to our happiness has been learning from other older couples what it means to love and serve each other in marriage. We’ve been blessed with several godly couples who spoke truth into our lives at key moments, but in between, books have guided us toward a healthier marriage.
When it comes to books on marriage, there are many that I have read and many more on my reading list. I have revisited some books several times, like looking for a good friend for a cup of coffee, and some books are still on my shelf, begging me to take them out and spend some time together.
Below I have included my top picks for Christian books on marriage. these are gems you’ll want to revisit again and again, and your marriage will be the better for it.
my best book picks on christian marriage
1. the 5 love languages: the secret to love that lasts by gary thomas
my first choice, this book has given flaviu and me a vocabulary to express our need for love in specific ways. It has also given us a non-confrontational way to deal with times when we feel unloved or when our “love bank” is running low. Hands down, this is my best book on marriage for anyone looking to improve their marriage right away. (find it on amazon.)
2. the power of a praying wife for stormie omartian
I started reading this book while we were engaged, and every time I pick it up I still feel challenged to spend more time praying for my man. i learned that the goal here is not to make him what i want, but to ask god to pour out everything he has into my husband’s life and use me as a conduit for blessing. (find it on amazon.)
3. just for women: what you need to know about the inner lives of men by shaunti feldhahn
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I was shocked when I read this book as a newly engaged woman and learned that the sexual temptations we struggle with before marriage follow us into marriage. If you want to peek into your man’s mind, this book will help you understand him, empathize with him, and love and serve him better. (find it on amazon.)
4. alex and stephen kendrick’s love challenge
About three years into our marriage, I felt like we had reached an impasse, so I picked up this book after seeing fireproof, and it helped me shift my perspective to look for ways to serve instead of waiting to be served. daily challenges are easy yet exhilarating, and it’s the perfect way to infuse your marriage with a little more energy. (find it on amazon.)
5. pursuit of passion: what kind of love are you making? by Linda Dillow and Dr. july slattery
If you feel like your love life has slipped away, this Bible study can help you rediscover your passion for your husband. I’ve found this is best done with a group of trusted friends, but let me tell you: expect tears and laughter. There is healing in bringing our sexuality before God. (find it on amazon.)
6. messy beautiful love: hope and redemption for real life marriages by dadalene schacht
Sadly, too many marriages today feel hopeless, but this book helps guide readers to see the beauty in everyday clutter. Darlene is honest, forthright, and transparent, and you’ll find her writing refreshing. (find it on amazon.)
7. love & respect: the love you want most; the respect you desperately need for emerson eggerichs
You’ve probably heard this before, but women need to feel love while men need to feel respected. But if you’re wondering what exactly that looks like in your daily routine, you’ll find practical instructions and steps in this book. (find it on amazon.)
8. sacred marriage: what if god designed marriage to make us holy rather than happy? by gary thomas
The idea that marriage is primarily meant to sanctify us has completely changed my view of marriage. God redeems the difficult parts of our lives to make us more like him, and that’s a beautiful way to address those difficulties we all experience in marriage. (find it on amazon.)
9. the four loves by c. yes louis
oh c. yes Lewis. If you enjoy deep and rich philosophical writing, this book from c. yes Lewis will be right up your alley. Writing from a scholar’s perspective, Lewis dives deep into ideas that will improve his marriage. (find it on amazon.)
10. sheet music: unlocking the secrets of sexual intimacy in marriage by kevin leman
Hollywood wants us to believe that the best sex happens in spontaneous encounters without commitment, and I believed them for a long time. But what this book has helped me discover is that sex gets better with time and effort, and it’s beautiful to see how that plays out in your own marriage. (find it on amazon.)
11. This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence by John Piper
every time i read a john piper book, i feel like my brain is overloaded, but in a good way, because his way of writing helps me think about things differently and always reveals important biblical texts. This book is not for the faint of heart, but if you read it, you will gain a deeper understanding of how God intended marriage to reflect eternal realities. (find it on amazon.)
12. what is it like to be married to me? by cute dillow
Just the cover of this book made me laugh when I first saw it because toothpaste and toilet paper alone are enough to spark controversy. Truth be told, I have spent too much time looking at my marriage from my own perspective; This book helps us see life through the eyes of our spouse. refreshing and fun. (find it on amazon.)
13. you and me forever: marriage in the light of eternity by francis and lisa chan
This husband and wife team share that the best way to have a healthy and happy marriage is to not focus on the marriage. eye-opening, thought-provoking and life-changing. (find it on amazon.)
14. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with God’s Wisdom by Timothy and Kathy Keller
I love that this book combines Tim’s insightful understanding of writing with his wife’s down-to-earth commentary. I realized that we all believe certain lies about marriage, and we can only grow when we confront them and replace them with God’s truth. (find it on amazon.)
15. Hers Her Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. harley jr
This classic will help you understand your spouse’s main needs and how they differ from your own. I’ve found that too often I expect my husband to behave the way I do and he wants the things I want, but we’re fundamentally different, and that’s a good thing. (find it on amazon.)
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