from the submissive guide newsletter of July 9, 2016
When I started exploring bdsm and d/s relationships in 2003, there weren’t a lot of resources available. those that were available were considered bdsm bibles, essential reading for those who wanted books to read. (which seems selfish since they were the only resources, of course people suggested reading them). But now, the world of books and e-books on bdsm and d/s topics is growing. I love books. they don’t disappear like websites and you can check them frequently. And that’s why I made this list. These are books that I pulled off the shelf over and over again because the information was great, the author talked to me, or I used it to learn about things I don’t have much experience with.
You are reading: Books on dominant and submissive relationships
Check out this list and see if there are any books you’d like to add to your own resource library.
1. to hell with the roses, send me the thorns by philip miller and molly devon
This was the first book I bought when I was looking for knowledge that I couldn’t find on the internet (still in its infancy). It was an eye opener for me to connect with something that I had felt was different about me, but couldn’t put into words. It was one of the major turning points in my d/s and bdsm life, to have something staring me in the face with the terminology I longed to know and understand.
Although the book is old and in need of an update, it has wonderful illustrations and a basic technique that will never go out of style. just don’t rely on appendices for contact information. much of that has long since disappeared. I still think it’s a great book to read and refer to, especially if you’re new to bdsm and want to get the gist of things before exploring on your own.
See more of my take on the book in my review, and then check out Amazon’s listing for more reviews and buy it for yourself.
2. the ritual of domination & submission: a guide to mastering high protocol & english david presentation
I just picked up this book again to read it, this time taking notes because I forgot some of the gems in it. I love the author’s thoughts on establishing any kind of protocol and the examples of what it could look like, making it a special book on my shelf. knyghtmare and I are always looking for ways to add more protocol and ritual to our dynamic and this book has been a fantastic resource to refer to again and again as we build the relationship that fills us and brings us joy.
I realize this book may not be to everyone’s liking as establishing any kind of protocol can be a problem in itself, it gives you a great insight into why people who have a protocol enjoy it and how to relate to people you could. know that they are a couple of protocol. If you’re looking to understand different relationship styles, you won’t want to miss this book. it covers an often covert niche of d/s dynamics that I find fascinating!
curious? read more of my review of this book on the site and then pick up your copy at amazon.com!
3. Playing Nice With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring, and Navigating the Kink, Leather, and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams
When I first heard that this book was being written and that there was a kickstarter campaign to publish it, I contributed. there and handled well. the authors did an amazing job.
See Also: S.E. Hinton – Book Series In Order
This is a book that has enthused me time and time again because it is an excellent guide for people who want to get out of their homes and into the community. much of what we already know about munches and conventions comes from firsthand accounts. none of this really establishes common sense guidelines that a newcomer might use. it helps you learn to interact with people in the community, something a lot of people could learn.
If you want to explore the local and regional communities, check out my review, then get your own copy at amazon.com.
4. Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Princess Kali’s Erotic Humiliation
I know I’ve talked a lot about this book since it came out and I’ll admit I’m a fan of ms kali but the content in this book is amazing and very useful for anyone exploring the humiliation game.
The humiliation game is challenging due to the potential for disaster, but when you learn how to do it safely it can be a fantastic way to play and for those not interested in pain or shock . consider adding some humiliation play to your repertoire.
Wondering all the ways humiliation can be added to your game? check out my review and then head over to amazon.com.
5. bdsm relationship mastery:: a guide to creating conscious relationships for dominants and submissives by robert rubel phd and jen fairfield
learning how to establish and nurture a d/s relationship is at the core of this book and I highly recommend anyone who is new or changing their relationship with d/s to pick up a copy and refer to it as they build their personal dynamic. clearly the d/s relationship style is the same as vanilla but different, right? wrong. With this book you will begin to see how to shape your identities and get the best out of your relationship. I have read this book twice and keep it on the shelf for reference.
[read my review](https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/reviews/book-review-bdsm-mastery-relationships-by-robert-rubel-and-m-jen-fairfield) then pick up your copy own on amazon.com.6. love guidance and support by chris m. lion
the book omits all references to d/s or bdsm, so if your partner is a little scared of those terms, give this book a try. It’s also a fantastic book for counselors, so understand your relationship without muddying the conversation with bdsm terms. I’ve used this book multiple times to talk about how my relationship is different from others and to help my friends understand why I advocate knyghmatare for decision making and such.
I have a review on this site and you can get your own copy on amazon.com
7. where they take me: a service exploration workbook by christina parker
I am very impressed with this workbook because of the personal growth I felt while working on “The Path to Service.” I’m a sucker for journaling prompts and activities that can improve myself and my presentation, and this book does what it says on the tin. helps you explore shipping services. Much of what I learned here I have been able to pay for and write here on the site for you to learn. this is definitely a valuable workbook to have in your collection.
See Also: Top 10 HR books to read for 2020
read my review
then get your own at amazon.com
8.
living m/s; a book for masters, slaves and their relationships by dan and alba williams
When I first read this book, I was coming to terms with my new label as a slave and sometimes felt inadequate. As I turned the pages, I learned that much of what I thought was “correct” was actually a simple misunderstanding of my own definitions. yes, we were leading a m/s life long before i called myself a slave and this book reaffirmed what i thought about m/s relationships. if you wanted a glimpse into the world of tpe 24/7, then this is your best first book to read.
the submissive guide organized a book club event about this book and I also reviewed it. Pick up your own copy at amazon.com.
9. the new rock bottom book by janet w. hardy and dossie easton
When a book is updated, you never know if it will be as good as the first edition, but Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton deliver! This book focuses more on the gambling aspects of a relationship, casual play at parties, and the role of the bottom in many other situations. If all the 24/7 submission outside of the bedroom isn’t for you, then this book is the one for you. It’s perfect for bedroom players and bdsm fans of all kinds. is on this list because it’s one of those books that works no matter where you are in your discovery.
read my review here
and get one at amazon.com.
Ultimately, I hope you use this as a guide to find your next learning experience. Do you have one or two books that you have read many times and would recommend?
See Also: Michael Scott – Book Series In Order