is a phrase my parents used with me for most of my teenage years. They said it when I rolled my eyes at a stranger, they said it when I responded to a family member with sass in my voice, and they said it when I started getting in trouble at school for talking back to teachers. I didn’t realize until decades later as an adult that my parents were trying to teach me perhaps the most important lesson in effective communication.
The vast majority of communication, 93 percent in fact, is non-verbal. therefore, all too often, your mouth may be saying one thing while the rest of your body is conveying a completely different message.
You are reading: How to read body language books
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Our gestures and expressions are part of our communication style and the way we convey our ideas to others. experts agree that body language is the most important element of communication. So, to be better communicators, we need to improve our body language skills.
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Luckily, there are several tricks and methods that can help us improve our body language skills and how to better interpret the body language of others. I’ve read dozens of books on the subject, and I’d like to share with you my top three picks, as well as the top tips from each.
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detecting lies 101 by dr. David Craig
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We all want to know if people are lying to us. But according to David Craig, less than 10 percent of the population actually have the ability to detect if someone is lying. this book provides readers with several techniques that can help them better understand nonverbal cues and uncover the truth.
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One of these techniques involves the same practices used in a professional lie detector test. Start by asking control questions to establish a baseline of what the person you are questioning looks like when they are telling the truth. how fast do they blink? what do they do with their hands and feet? later, when you ask them the real questions, check to see how their body language has changed. are they blinking faster or slower? Does your voice go up or down? if their body language is radically different, it could be a sign that the person is not telling the truth.
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the definitive book on body language by allan & barbara pea
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Whether in business or social settings, in the first few minutes of interaction, people classify each other into one of three categories: dominant, submissive, and equal. Both the dominant and submissive boxes are dangerous places to be. If a person thinks you are dominant, he may not want to work with you because he is afraid. and if a person labels you submissive, he might think that he can dominate you.
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You want people to see you as their equal. but unfortunately, due to our body language, we often end up being placed in the dominant and submissive boxes. this book teaches readers how to change that to better optimize their relationships. for example, when shaking someone’s hand, the person with their hand up is usually trying to portray dominance. to establish an equality, both hands must be level. The authors also discuss body language techniques that people can use to manipulate interactions. For example, if you want to appear open, honest, and friendly, you should show your palms when you speak.
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what everyone says by joe navarro
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This book provides readers with a cheat sheet for interpreting nonverbal cues. Every part of the body tells a story, and the ways we move our bodies can give people information we’d rather not have access to.
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For example, the author highlights the importance of the human torso in body language. where you position your torso is indicative of what you want to do and where you want to go. If you’re talking to someone and her torso isn’t pointing towards you, it could be a sign of a lack of interest, concentration, or respect. If you are talking to someone and his torso is pointing towards you, it shows that he is interested in the conversation. torsos can also communicate a person’s comfort level. If a person crosses their arms or places other barriers in front of their torso, it could be an indication that the person is uncomfortable. If you’re in a business meeting and everyone’s torso is pointed at one person, it’s usually because they’re the most important person in the room.
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To learn more about these books and the tips I learned from each, check out my video explanation below:
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